It was even crazier than I had anticipated.
When I saw the clip of Amber, Lexie and Kendra leaving for the road trip, my first thought was how happy I was that I wasn't included. By that time, I was ready to move on to the next stage of my life. I knew I was so close to being home, and I just wanted to sleep in my own bed. I really didn't want to have to drive all the way across the country only to have to fly back. I get very carsick, and our car was really small, so I wouldn't have had a fun time on that trip. I was happy that the other three girls got to have one last crazy week, but I knew that it wasn't something that I would have enjoyed doing. My biggest fear about the reunion show wasn't for me, but for Amber. I knew she was pregnant, and I was really worried that somebody might come at her and put her health in jeopardy. I knew that I was going to make sure that she stayed safe, no matter what else. I didn't really do anything that I was horribly ashamed of on the show, so I wasn't too worried about my part in the reunion. I knew that Florina might be mad about the water balloons, but I figured we would handle that in a rational manner. At the reunion, I really wanted us all to be able to calmly discuss our actions and reactions, but I was smart enough to realize that wasn't going to happen. I knew it was going to be a volatile situation, and as long as Amber and I stayed safe, I was ready to face it. Even though I thought it was going to be crazy, it was even crazier than I had anticipated. Seeing Kate for the first time after she punched me was interesting. She was so pathetic, just sitting there with no friends. I felt really bad for her. She was wearing this ugly orange dress, and with her orange skin, she looked like an Oompa Loompa. I thought I was going to be so mad at her, and start screaming and yelling, but instead, I just felt pity for her. We all left the show with at least one really close friend, and she had none. I still thought it was hilarious when clips of my pranks were shown. This was the first time I saw Kate trying to squeeze into her corset. Amber and Kendra had told me about it, but they really didn't do it justice. It was hilarious; I think I actually laughed out loud when I saw that. When Florina and Natalie started fighting, I was in shock. It just seems like it came out of nowhere. I don't even think Natalie was talking to Flo when Flo went at her. Once I registered that they were fighting, my mind went to Amber and making sure that she was out of the way. It was the most intense fight I've ever seen., I don't think I'll ever forget it. I think that if all of the girls had remained in the house throughout filming, the ones who were left wouldn't have become as close. Once the aggressive people left, the remaining girls were really able to get to know each other and form close bonds. I think that if all the girls had stayed, we would have been fighting and arguing the whole time, and we wouldn't have had the chance to really get to know each other. I'm glad that things happened the way that they did.I have no idea what my reputation at the end of the show is. I think that people think that I'm not bad because they can't get their heads around the fact that there are different types of bad girls. I also think that people think that I'm a bit of a bully because of the way I treated Lexie in the final episode. That makes me sad though, because I don't want to be known as a bully. When I was being mean to Lexie, I was really just venting. We've all done that about our roommates before. I also think that people think I am too naive to understand what happened in the house. That makes me laugh, because while I am optimistic, I am not naive. I knew what was going on, I just chose to distance myself from a lot of it.