It was okay to forgive...

Annie calling the cops on Kate was no surprise to me. However, I felt Annie was crying wolf because she wasn't hurt! I also thought if Annie wanted revenge she should have just hit Kate back. And Annie could have got me into trouble by calling the cops, but Annie didn't care.Annie completely changed once really Natalie left. And a lot of what she was saying and doing I did not care for at all. Lexie had stood up for Annie countless times, so for Annie to bash Lexie was immature. My thoughts are Annie got jealous that Lexie, Kendra, and myself were young and party girls and she couldn't keep up. She wouldn't say anything about Kendra or me so she targeted Lexie. Yes, I agree Lexie can be ditzy, but the weight issue was too far.My favorite memory of the BGC would have to be when Rich came to visit. He brought me back to earth, and made me realize I was there to change, that it wasn't a competition. He pointed out times when I was wrong, and the positive things about all the girls that I couldn't see because I was so angry. He let me know it was okay to ask for help, and it was okay to forgive, and that I needed to grow up or keep it moving! Plus, besides the back talking, everyone got a long during the day and we played drinking games, and had a BBQ! It was a lot of fun!!I think the worst memory was leaving not with everyone that started the process. It would have been nice if we all grew up and learned from the experience. It really sucked that we all argued and fought so much.I'm surprised I made it all the way to the end. Just because I tend to get myself into a lot of trouble, and I knew certain things were not allowed. I also wanted to just pack up and leave a couple times, because the stress of fighting and yelling does get to a person. But I was proud of myself. I was leaving with the beginning of some friendships, and I had learned a lot from myself, and the other girls.I took a lot of lessons with me when I left the house. Each girl taught me a lot about myself (more than they really know), and about who I want to be. Portia - taught me putting other people before myself can be the most rewarding thing in the world.Florina - taught me that it's okay to be out of the "norm" and that screaming does not get your point across. It makes a person look immature and stupid!Natalie - taught me how much my friends meant to me, that money isn't everything, and that being the center of attention isn't always a good thing! She also taught me that I could be really mean at times, and picking on weaker people is not okay!Annie - taught me that its okay to be a bit nerdy! She taught me that when I want to be I can be a really good friend and that not everyone is what he or she seems. She taught me a lot about shopping! LOL. And she taught me that as nice as a person seems, they have to power to hurt you too.Kendra - taught me not to give a F*CK! She taught me that playing both sides is really just bullsh*t! And if it didn't have to do with me, I should really just stay out of it. She taught me that its okay to not understand and ask for help! And she taught me to stop worrying so much about what other people think, and just make myself happy!Lexie - brought out the little girl in me. She made me realize that keeping a guard up all the time is not okay! She taught me that you have to open up for people to actually get to know you. Take chances!! She made me realize sometimes you have to just laugh, and let things go!Kate- made me realize you can't always believe what people say, that really they could just be lying. She made me realize what I wanted to be as a friend, and what I wanted in my friends!All the girls taught me things I wanted to do better in myself, and for that I THANK EACH OF THEM!I'm going to miss things about Annie, Lexie, and Kendra. However, if we are going to be friends, it will take time, conversation and some great traveling!! :) The house was nice, but I am so glad to have my own space again!Finally, the road trip, it was really nice going out and just having fun with Lexie and Kendra. We still had our arguments, but we got over them, and kept moving forward! Lexie's hometown was great! I got over my fear of horses with the girls, and we just had a good time being us! It was sad to see Lexie go inside her house, but I was thrilled to be going to my hometown next. I got to show Kendra my favorite places to eat, and where I always played growing up. I got to show her my college town, and we got TATTOOS! When it was time for me to go home, I was ready!! I wish I would have got to experience Kendra's hometown, but she had to head home alone!

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