Ahhhh, the Bad Girls Club has shut down for the season. Now that all the girls are home, I can breathe a sigh of relief. No more fighting! No more boozing! No more getting naked on camera! Life is normal again!
But wait—how could I forget . . . it is reunion time! Just when I thought I could enjoy some peace and tranquility. Scratch that! Let’s begin, shall we?
Big news first. We have a new host. Bad Girls Club alum—and future star of Tanisha Gets Married—Tanisha Thomas is taking over the reins from Perez Hilton. Let’s hope she pops off at these girls, preferably with pots and pans.
Tanisha begins the show by introducing us to the final five, saying that they all look gorgeous. Wait, are we watching the same show? Mimi is dressed like a referee and Gia looks like a ring girl from a 1970s Dolly Parton movie, complete with a hair piece that makes it look like she is wearing a poodle on her head. Maybe that’s the look, what do I know?
Now, I can tell you a very brief summary of what unfolds during the reunion to save you from reading the rest. Basically, it goes something like this: scream, fight, kick, kick, punch, slap, scream at the audience, jump the audience, spit at the audience, sit down, punch, slap, scream. The end. If you want more, read on.
Tanisha starts off by talking to the final five about the season. Amy reveals that she was always a fighter. Elease thanks the girls for making her life a living hell because it made them closer. Erica actually cries about the way they treated Elease, and then Gia gets all defensive and angry at everyone in the audience. Maybe she blames them for making her choose her Elvis-esque black jumpsuit (more about that later)?
Then Camilla comes out. She looks like a completely different person, but lucky for us she is still crazy! She gives Mimi and Amy clips of fake hair since she snatched their weaves. The sad thing is these look better than what Mimi and Amy usually wear on their head. Camilla gets mad at everyone for calling her “Camilla” as in rhymes with “vanilla.” Sort of. She informs them that it is pronounced “Cameela.” Well then why don’t you spell it that way???
They review everything that went down with Cameela and the other Bad Girls. Cameela calls Elease stupid. They jump each other. Good times! Cameela leaves the stage huffing and puffing but eventually comes back.
Next they bring out Faux Bad Girl Christine. The audience gasps when they see footage of Christine getting attacked. Even the Bad Girls seem a bit ashamed . . . except for Gia! Gia is all, I didn’t jump you. I just wanted to hit you (which she did by the way). She uses twisted logic to defend her behavior. She’s all, Thousands of girls wanted to be in your place but you just walked away. And Christine remains calm and collected when she points out that 3 on 1 ain’t cool. Elease apologizes for taking part in it. Well, it’s a start.
Christine leaves the stage and guess who comes out?? The twins! By now it’s been weeks since we’ve seen them, and I forget which one is which. They bring out a Styrofoam cup filled with . . . something . . . and a script for Elease. Elease ain’t having it, so she jumps to grab the script, thus knocking over the cup. Turns out that it is filled with syrup! Tanisha, bless her heart, is all, Where are the pancakes? Gia is furious because a spot of syrup spilled on her “custom-made jumpsuit.” Custom-made by who? Liberace’s ghost? The audience agrees with me, because they start booing her. Gia very graciously responds by mocking a girl for wearing white shorts in the winter. She then spits on her because that’s what people who wear custom-made jumpsuits do. A fight breaks out between Gia and the audience member’s sister. While everyone is looking at that, Cameela sneak attacks Elease and jumps her when she’s not looking. Wow.
The scene quiets down and now it’s back to the twins. We revisit the Elease debacle. Gabi actually shows some remorse while Dani looks ahead like she’s made of stone. We turn to the fight where THEY got attacked. Dani/Gabi thank the other girls because it was the biggest fight in BGC history and it made them stars. I could think of other ways I’d want people to know me by but okay. The first part of the reunion ends with Erica, who has actually been quiet, taking off her shoes like she’s getting ready to fight. Red bottoms, I’m sure.
Overall—the first part of the reunion was exactly what I expected: screaming, fighting, and screaming! Tanisha is doing a good job so I am excited to see her lay the law down next week.