Episode 7 - Ballroom
I was really excited to get my package from home. I wasn't sure what to expect in the package but I knew that because it was my husband sending it to me that it would be something special. He sent me one of his shirts completely soaked in his cologne (my favorite one that he wears too) and a letter that he wrote to me. It was nice that he wrote me a letter because I haven't seen him and my kids in so long, but I was not expecting what was in it. I knew in my heart that he was having a hard time without me, but I didn't know that it was that bad. My kids and him were missing me more than I realized and he had been having some health issues which, with me being so far away I felt helpless, like there was nothing I could do to help him.
It was so bittersweet to be away from my husband and kids because on one hand I was doing something to better me and my life, and I was having a great time and I knew that they supported me. But, on the other hand, my family means the world to me. They are the ones that are #1 in my life. Being away from them for so long really makes you think about what you are doing. You start to question if what you're doing is the right thing, not only for you but for them as well. Being able to talk to my husband on the phone was so hard for me as I can bet it was for him too. I loved that I could hear his voice after so long, but being so far away from him and my kids and knowing that he was having some health problems made me miss them that much more. It made me want to go home and wrap them up in my arms and NEVER let go.
But, I still had work to put in. So, in the end the one thing that I hope they understand is that even though I'm far away, they are ALWAYS close to my heart, and I love them more than they will ever know.
I loved the Tango. Having Sonny as my partner, for a ballroom style like the Tango made me feel so lucky. He is after all a Latin Ballroom Champion!! I had never done any style of ballroom, so I have to admit I was a little nervous, but I had confidence in myself, my partner, and our routine. I think we did very well. Although I was not crazy about the song, I feel that we performed well together, and I loved our routine.
I don't always agree with what the judges have to say, or the way that they score us. Sometimes, I feel that they are a little harder on some more than others, but hey, that is how the cookie crumbles right? I think if you take a good look at Sonny and me when we are performing, we are pretty much glued together. I think I did a lot better than I was given credit for but that is the judges’ job, to give their opinion and score us. As far as Lisa Ann's comment about there not being enough prostitute, there isn't much I can say. She feels one way and I feel another, I have no control over that, but it doesn't mean that I have to agree.
When I realized that I was being eliminated, it was very hard for me. For one, I felt that I could have gone much further in this competition, and I think I could have shown the judges a lot more. It was also hard for me to have to say goodbye to everyone. I have formed bonds and friendships with some of the people that I met here that will continue for a long time to come. But, I can also say that even though I didn't make it to the finale, I still feel like a winner. Some people might not understand why I feel that way, but I do.
I have learned how take care of myself, how to look at myself in a way that doesn't make me feel bad or depressed, and I am going home with a whole new attitude about life. I can smile now and say that I worked hard to get to where I am, and I love the person I am now. Plus, I get to go home to the people that love me most in this world!!
The one thing that has kept me motivated from day one is the one thing that will keep me motivated when I get back to the "real world", MY FAMILY!!!! I still have to be a mom and a wife, but now I have the drive and the determination to be that and much, much more. I can't wait to get back to my life and add to it what I have learned here.
The things that I have learned will benefit me for the rest of my life. I have learned to eat healthy and enjoy the things that I eat, as well as learned how to exercise and take care of my body. I have also learned how to incorporate all these things into my life. When I get home, one of the first things that I will do is find a gym that has a day care, so that I can continue working out and taking care of myself and my kids can be right there with me. Then I am hoping to find a dance studio that has adult classes so that I can continue doing one of the things in life that makes me the happiest, and then with a little bit of love and persuasion I will get my husband on board too!! All these things will make for a better, happier life for me, my family, and all of the people in my life that I care about!!
To read about what Erica thinks about celebs in dance movies, go here.
To read Erica's other blogs, go here.