Episode 8 - Prom Diggity
To this day, I still wonder why I am so critical of my body. For most of my life I have always been so self-conscious of the way I look. Once you've lost so much weight, depending on the person, it takes your mind a little bit of time to catch up to feeling good about your new body. With that being said, although I couldn't necessarily see the weight loss on myself this week, I knew in my mind I was doing something about it and being proactive. I don't feel trapped in my own skin anymore and I've been able to find a new confidence within myself. Now that I've reached the halfway point in the competition, I'm finally able to look at myself, see my progress and feel fantastic about my new body. I definitely have found a new love and respect for my body that I will carry throughout my life and I am so grateful!!
What I love about our fabulous judges is that they never let me get comfortable. The judges always expect more than 100% from me. Although sometimes it's difficult to hear, I really appreciate the fact that they have high expectations from me. It is those expectations that keep me feeling competitive, not only with everyone, but with myself. As a performer I feel that no matter what, a piece of yourself has to shine through. I have been going through so much through out the competition; I've shared myself with the judges and have allowed myself to be vulnerable when I dance. The next time I perform my routine, I will again show all of myself; my sorrows, and joys, and perform the hell out of my dance!
I think I will definitely be able to deliver by trying something new and not being afraid to be ambitious. I will maintain a strong sense of self throughout my next performance, and continue to show that judges that though I may be stronger, I still have a vulnerable side of me.
My favorite part about our DYAO prom was having Oskar ask to be my date! Have I mentioned that I think he is gorgeous? LOL!
A very close second was having Mel B. there having fun with us and being the amazing woman that she is. It was so exciting! Lastly, I got to experience prom a whole new way. During my senior year of high school I was at my heaviest weight. Although I was prom queen, and I had the most perfect date ever, I was so insecure about my weight and the way I looked. I was very sad because I felt like I wasn't in control of my own body. This second prom was so much more fun for me, because my life has changed for the better and I was able to celebrate!
Learning the hitch kick was really fun! My darling dance partner Oskar made sure I didn't slack at all, and at times I was in pain. We worked hard all week to try and improve my flexibility and my balance. It is always fun challenging yourself and expanding your horizons. I always knew I had to work super hard, especially since I've had no formal dance training, but at this point in the game I'm feeling like a real dancer! I was ready to hitch kick for my life this past week!
It's hard to say who I think my biggest competition is. We've all worked very hard to stay in this game. DYAO is not just about awesome dance scores, it's about losing weight and it’s really always anyone's game. Adamme, Michael and Corey are amazing competitors. However, being a female, my dance style is quite different than the boys'. All of our gorgeous guys are incredible performers and dancers, but to be honest my eyes have never left LaToya. Not only is she my roommate, her dancing ability is so evident and the judges love her! I know I have to stay on top of my game, because she is a strong female and tough to beat.
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