Episode 8- Prom Diggity
I want to live life to the fullestI'm tired of giving up on myself and not having the will power to stay on track. I want to live life to the fullest, so when ever I feel weak or like I can't go anymore, I think of the fact that I have been chosen out of hundreds of thousand of people to have this unique opportunity to lose weight and get on the healthy track to living my life as a better version of ME.
Family is so important to me… my mother is such a special woman and I hold her close to my heart. She has been the best at loving me unconditionally and never giving up on me as a mother, she has encouraged me to lose weight for years because she knows that I would be happier, healthier, and more vibrant. I want to make her proud, she worries about the health risks I have from being overweight because my father is diabetic. I love him, and I have seen him struggle and almost lose his life this past year due to his health issues. He is a fighter and he made it out alive (thank GOD), and this is what helps me realize I have the power in my blood to keep fighting forward, even when I’m in the hospital receiving blood transfusions or running the required 12 miles on the treadmill, I think of how I can keep going because things could be worse off.
It started to get frustrating having LaToya follow me around, because I don't play like that. I go after what I want with a vision of pushing my personal limits. I am my biggest threat, I need to out-do my own workouts, I need to make sure I discipline myself, am more strict with my nutrition, rehearse my dances and memorize the moves, while trying to push my body to do more than I did last week. It's about me focusing on my best self, and when you have someone like LaToya, who seems to be worried about your progress, and concerned more with how many workouts you got in this week, its a drag. But I’m fighting for more than myself here at DYAO, so I wont allow LaToya to frustrate me too much.
At dinner, I tried to open the floor up for family discussion so that we could clear up any negative feelings that may be building up, but LaToya wasn't having it, she shut down. When she said she wasn't here to feel like family with us, and that she didn't want to harm anyone but "she could care less about us," I took offense to that comment and I knew I had to draw the line. I was serious... I was turned off by her comments that "we are not family" and "she could care less about us" because we have all leaned on each other, and I remember counseling her through tough times, yet she was throwing even me under the bus. I knew enough was enough and I wanted her to know where I now stand with her. I told her stay away from me with your negative complaints, your disrespect, and your tears because I want to believe you have good in you, but at this point I feel she is a total DRAG to be around.
My high school prom was great… I had fun, but I don't remember feeling proud of myself and my body image. This time around at the DYAO Prom I feel different, I feel a sense of PRIDE and accomplishment in making it this far, and taking my life into my own hands and fighting for my weight loss. Dancing on the stage with the lights cameras and judges there, it’s a surreal experience and like a dream come true. This prom will be amazing!
My Russian leap wasn't as high and in the air as I would have liked… with Briana just attempting this trick a couple weeks before I didn’t want to push so hard that I would injure myself the same way. It was close and I'm so happy and excited to be moving forward as one of the top competitors. I tend to be a little bit of an over achiever. I always feel I can do better, I never feel I'm doing enough so I try to shoot for more. However, through it all I'm pleased that the judges see that I'm trying to work as hard as I can to keep on this journey!
I plan to stay on track with my eating and nutrition, I must get all my workouts in a day I need to shoot for one hour workouts three times a day on top of my dance rehearsals. This is difficult, but I can do it. I love that I have my friends, family, and fans behind me cheering me on my way forward! Please know I appreciate you all and I promise I'm giving it all I got! You are all my favorite Glam-Rockstarz and I hope I'm making you inspired and proud! My friends and fans, I know that somewhere out there, YOU all love and support me through this journey, and you too may be feeling the same about your health, fitness, and may be feeling like you can go after your passions in life your dreams. I fight forward to inspire you to get up and go after what ever it is you want in your life- do not allow obstacles to stop you from climbing the mountain.
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