I’m a Christian woman who believes in God and although I respect everyone’s faithful religious practices, beliefs, and denominations, I’m not quite sure if Buddhism and chanting is for me. I’ve been learning the practices of meditation and forgiveness and I knew Nikki was the best person to discuss those avenues with. I don’t have anger issues or a psychosis of anger, but I am aware that I’ve allowed myself to be around negative people, in negative surroundings, and get upset when they don’t turn out positive. These are just people and situations I know I have to now remove myself from to be back in a happier place.
When I first was sent the Interception script, I fell in love with the project immediately! It was genius and I was honored to be asked to be a part of it, and excited to work amongst good friends like Alimi and his wife Dahn Ballard who were the writers and producers as well as stars of the film. I believe in positive and negative motivations. Negative motivations are the things like what happened at Eva’s BBQ and the negative people involved. That made me never want to be in that place again or in other situations like that, therefore I’ve made decisions to cut off certain people and move into a positive place. Interception and the festival are examples of positive motivations. These are the moments I live for and positive space I strive and drive for.
It wasn’t that I didn’t think Interception would be the project I was involved with that was nominated for an award, because I believe in every project I am in, but with every project we do, we never know where the film will go. It could never be released, completed, may or may not make it into a theater, festival, on DVD or TV. I believed in Interception and knew it was a great project, but sometimes you never know if someone else will feel the same way. I didn’t know if this project was a spec short they were shooting in anticipation of turning into a full feature and seeking further funding, or if it was a project they wanted to make and circulate in the festivals. Filmmakers and writers make several projects for several reasons and I was just happy to work with my friends on a great project. Multiple festival acceptances and nominations was the super sweet icing on the cake!
I’m always inspired by all of my friends especially when they succeed and work hard and it pays off. It’s motivational and inspiring even when a friend may fail at something because I’m encouraged and inspired by the ones who don’t let that deter them, and they pick themselves up and keep going! I’m all of my friends’ number one fan and cheerleader, and although I may say it harshly and people don’t want to hear the truth, whether its Eva changing her hair color or not going to NYC for fashion week, it all comes from a concerned loving place of staying focused and grinding! A real friend doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear! If people get past the aggressive tone, and listen to the message that everyone else around them is giving them as well, they’ll see I’m just a good friend that wishes everyone the best!
The meeting with Jerome was very unexpected and a little nerve-racking. Let’s be very clear: for the record, I never asked for Jerome’s help or for him to represent me, but I was still very grateful for his assistance. Another fact is that it’s not multiple people saying that I have a bad reputation in the business, it’s one person, my friend, insinuating that I have a bad reputation and that’s why I don’t work when in fact it is the complete opposite. I actually work a lot and it’s because of my great work ethic, reputation, and rapport with many people. There was one isolated incident that occurred, that I shared with Eva, right after my brother’s death where I was bullied and disrespected several times. And because I didn’t have proper representation to get me out of the situation, I had to manage it myself. My problem has never been working, I’ve done 10 movies in the past year. My issue is that I don’t have representation. To take one situation and perpetuate it as a reputation was insulting and disheartening coming from a friend, and then the fact that she repeated her assumption/accusation to other professional people in the industry. It is all gossip, hearsay, and rumors. To make a statement like that about someone that is your best friend can be damaging especially when it’s not true at all.
Kelly coming over to help me prepare for my audition was entertaining, and the stress relief I needed at the moment. Being that she’s not in the same exact field as me, I had to keep reminding myself that her criticisms and harshness was coming from a different place and I shouldn’t take it personally. Kelly came over literally ten minutes after I got the call about the audition and I hadn’t prepared anything at all, so it was more of a girls’ night in of relieving stress before I actually put in several hours of work with a choreographer.
I have an amazing relationship with my parents and a very close relationship with my dad. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. I was fortunate enough to grow up with both my parents who are still married to this day. None of us girls can ever understand or know what Nikki is going through by not knowing her father while she was growing up. This woman doesn’t know if he loved her or not, if he left because of her or her mom, etc. Abandoned kids grow up with many unresolved issues and questions, so for her to take these small steps to get to know him makes me happy and proud of her. Bonding with a new person in your life is just as meaningful a process as it is to grieve over someone passing. This is Nikki’s life and it’s her father. I think people should stop trying to force her to do something they know nothing about. I think Nikki should embrace that she has her dad now, but this is an individual process and journey and Nikki must make these decisions for herself, her life, her career, etc. We should just be here for when she does seek a shoulder to lean on or cry on.