Drawing On Denyce (GCLA, Ep. 6)
It was very difficult auditioning for the cheerleader role. I don’t like working out and although I have a tiny frame, I am far from being in shape. I ended up spending almost $600 hiring a choreographer from The LA Clippers for the weekend and gathering my longtime girlfriends who are choreographers. After almost 40 hours of rehearsing and training, they painfully whipped me back into shape! Becoming the character wasn’t that much of a challenge because I pulled something from all the girls and myself to create her. That was the fun part.
Being a series regular would mean a check every week lol. But seriously it would mean everything to be able to wake up every day, go to rehearsals, then to work. To walk onto that studio lot that we all drive by every day, the place people only see on TV or on Hollywood tours, and be able to interact and learn from and grow with a new family.
Going in for an audition, let alone an audition to be a series regular, is always exciting, nerve wracking and intimidating at the same time. But as actors it’s that old song and dance where you think you nailed it but never get called back. I thought I failed but I got called back 3 times and it was between me and one other person for the job! It’s not that I didn’t give it 100% because I did, I was just being hard on myself and didn’t know if I was good enough.
Tony Rock is such a funny person, friend, and comedian and he’s very talented so it’s always great to support him and watch him do his thing on stage! I’m really proud of him! Being able to laugh and have a great time with the girls and support a fellow actor and friend at the same time is one of the best parts of this business for me.
You can’t prepare for something like a death or an anniversary of a death. None of my family lives in California, or even close to me, so the anniversary of my brother’s death was a very stressful and lonely time for me. I tried to go home to be with my family, but I was working, and although my family understood and encouraged me to stay in LA to work and focus on my career and healing to move forward, I felt very torn because I never allowed myself to properly grieve. I guess I needed and wanted to be with them and have a vigil more than I let on and more than they may have wanted and needed me to.
I always knew I wanted a tattoo on my wrist but never knew what I wanted. When my brother passed I knew immediately I wanted to get his name there. He was my right hand man and I know that if it were him, he would’ve probably gotten my face on his whole back lol. I know he would’ve loved the tattoo if he was alive. He’s my hero and the tattoo is my daily reminder and memorial for him!
It wasn’t my first tattoo (I have 3 others) but this was the most personal, sentimental, and emotionally painful. I wasn’t nervous about getting it or it hurting, I was scared it wouldn't come out right and I didn’t want it to be done wrong! It meant too much to me and I have friends and family members who have gotten tattoos in honor of my brother and the tattoo artist messed up! I didn’t want that! I promised my mom and dad it was my last and I honestly am not a huge tattoo person, but I can’t say 1000% that it will be my last. I might get overjoyed with life one day and want to put my firstborn's initials on my big toe, who knows lol. Living one day at a time...
I don’t think I can ever get closure with how and why my brother was senselessly murdered, but the tattoo made me feel like I did something in honor of him. I found many notebooks and music my brother wrote, and a lot of what he wrote about was his legacy, his story, and for no one to forget about him. Who he was, how he treated people, and how he made people feel meant a lot to him and I wanted to honor him because I won’t ever forget, and I won’t let anyone else forget, especially his kids.
We have all had our hearts broken, we know what we want and what we don’t want, and we are at a place in our lives where the next relationship (if this last one doesn’t work out) has to be IT! The guy has to want the same things, and be The One, before I give my heart away again 100%. So I’m not surprised by Eva and Nikki’s slow pace. We have to choose wisely. I mean we are only talking about forever under God lol. I don’t know if these men will be their life mates or not, it’s not for me to judge or interfere. What I do know is that I like both Anthony and Jason, and I love that they love my girls and make them happy. And as long as they continue to do so, they won’t have to worry about dealing with me and my baseball bat lol!