The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

Okay, I guess everyone seems to want to make me the villain on this whole plus-size model issue. So in case you haven't got it the first time here it is… Again. World Wide Web and world at large: I don't hate fat people, or any people. I think everyone should love themselves anyway they want to be. If you like being big stay big and keep loving yourself. If you don't like yourself big go to the gym. If you're skinny, good for you. I hate that I have been thrown to the dogs on this. It's true I don't believe there is a large market for plus-size women and I don't think one is going to ever be there in my lifetime but who knows? I did the best I could with the issue that was put on me by my son. There's the truth, like it or not. I love everyone as long as they love themselves too. Go ahead -- hate on that. I'm done talking about it. Think what you want. I know the truth and so should you.

I felt bad seeing Kehoe again, but what can I say? When it's over, it's over. He knows how to get back in. He's another topic I could live without. Just keep watching. You won't believe how this turns out. Trust me. The one thing I will say is, Kehoe knows how to put me in a bad mood by trying to jump in on every shoot. It's just sad really. Nothing more than sad.

The Wizard of Oz shoot was amazing, despite its problems. I loved the pictures and it was an amazing chance for me to show the world and my models why I still am the World’s First Supermodel. I love when the “show” aspect of everything lifts and we get back to modeling. It really reminds me why I should get up every day. It's the best thing about modeling -- to be involved in the art process in such a gratifying way. I am so grateful in moments like that. Life is at its most superb when you are doing something you really love. I think that is how you know when you are doing the right thing for you or not. Never forget how it feels when you find that out because you won't be able to get it back if you try to do anything else again. I hope that kind of joy touches everyone at least once in their lives. I guess this will make more sense next week. Anyway, I loved this shoot and I gave it my all and so did Danny and Dominique. I am so proud of how far they have come. Thank you Justin Monroe for an amazing shoot.

Now onto a less happy subject. If I had to pick between Chandler and Danny, I would choose Danny in a heartbeat. And no offense Danny, but I think neither of you are right for Xian. Because, neither of you should be dating her… No Model Dating!... First rule of the house! Anyway why should I care except for the fact that this isn't why I started a modeling agency. I can't believe that what started as a dream has come to the weekly blow-by-blow of some beautiful models' sex lives. Xian should concentrate on her modeling and her weight, not what guy in the agency she should date. Not on my clock. I am so sad that this is what was going on when I wasn't looking... Then again, I'm always looking so I guess I only have myself and a house full of young hormones to blame. Whatever. Again this is why you have to tune in next week!

Lizzie Grubman is truly not only one of my favorite people in the world but she’s the best publicist in the Universe. I am so lucky that we have such a close relationship and I truly take every word she says to heart. She has been in this business long enough to see when you are or aren't doing the right thing for yourself. As an artist or just plain as a friend. That is why when she said it might be time to call it quits on this California Dream I began to question: Is this even the right place for me to have an agency? All I know is something’s got to change and it's going to have to be a big change to fix the mess I'm in. Again, this will be a lot more clear next week. Got it? Good.

The proudest moment I had all week was seeing that something was getting through to at least two of my models. Traci and Xian, our JDMA resident serial daters, decided to stop being crazy and take this modeling game seriously. But, for one of them it might be too late. And it's not a weight thing, trust me. It's so much deeper than that. I will close with the theme of this blog… Tune in next week for the season finale (followed immediately by a special reunion show) so I can really spill the beans. Also, tune in to HSN on the 28th for the world premiere of my new jewelry line. Only on HSN at 8 am and 11 pm -- check local listings to make sure you’re the first caller I get to talk to!

Love,
Janice