A big part of my ministry is candor: being an open book. I don’t think you can really help people without the exposure of your own personal challenges from time to time. People watch Preachers of L.A. because at the end of the day, they are wondering if the pastors live what they preach to others.
I was called to this challenge in Episode 4. My mother told me that my brother Caleb disrespected her and that restraining orders were filed. My first reaction was to protect my mother both physically and emotionally. At the same time, I have to keep my emotions under control because I have so much on the line.
If things escalate with Caleb, I have a lot to lose. The tension I am held in is that it has taken me years to build a reputation that could be tarnished in moments.
It wasn’t helpful, then, that Caleb showed up at my birthday party uninvited with these unresolved issues.
A little background: Caleb and I are brothers. I grew up with him, and things were always good until a little later on.
As Caleb grew up, he fought for independence. Like most families, this struggle became problematic. While in between places he chose to live with my mom until his new unit was ready. From there, things began to escalate. The struggle between independence and control can become pronounced when two strong willed family members dwell in the same place.
Myesha brought up that I might be a source of competition. I don’t know about that. I do think that everyone needs affirmation, and at times it may appear to my siblings that I’m celebrated and affirmed a little bit more than they are. But, my mother has been pretty good at making sure that she divides her attention between all of my siblings. How they interpret that is a question for them.
When Caleb showed up at my birthday, I was really taken aback. This wasn’t the ideal place to go over anything. When I spoke to him, he placed the blame squarely on my mother. It didn’t sound like the mother I grew up with. One thing she has never been in my life is a liar. I dismissed Caleb’s statement for the most part, while trying to contain myself until we could really hash it out. My birthday wasn’t the time or place, so I asked him to leave.
I would love to be able to sit them together and have them see eye to eye. I counsel people who have problems within their families. I would hate to be a success in ministry but have discord in my own family.
Flip through the full episode recap below!