Well, this was an interesting situation, because Redd was the one who confided she wanted to stop bullying. When I saw the X on Loren's face, I wanted to address the situation head-on. 1. Don’t name a goal, get me invested, then not do your work. 2. Don’t bully my girls (if someone X’d Redd’s face I’d be equally protective). Inside or outside of that house, I don’t care…each one of those girls deserves respect.
So of course I followed Redd when she walked out on me. In my work, it’s a delicate dance. In order to get the client invested – she has to feel in charge. But when Redd was clearly blowing up, I was done sharing the control. She clearly wasn’t responding to or respecting a softer approach, so I went hard. I had a life to change and didn’t care what it took. I’ve coached everyone from hardened criminals to celebrities. My commitment doesn’t change no matter what neighborhood or size home I’m in. If I’m asked to change a life…I’m going to work. No pettiness or threat can change that.
When I saw Redd come into the office it was clear she wasn’t over our dealings outside. Frankly, I was surprised – there was a good amount of time that had passed in real life. The only thing I could do to keep moving this train forward was to push.
Redd was doing her best to stop the session. Anything I said or did she fired back…it was clear this was way more about Redd being in control than being open to work. She was still upset, I understood. We needed to talk this thing out. So I leaned in and kept going for a real discussion. It had to get uncomfortable before it could get fixed. I just kept trying, any way and any chance I could.
I knew if I could just get her to open up (even about how she was feeling toward me), we could get somewhere, but at that point we were at a serious stalemate. So, I pushed for it. I made it clear over and over in that office I was there to help not hurt. But sometimes, the process gets painful…for all of us.
The fact Redd didn’t like the process didn’t bother me, it wasn’t personal. It was my office. And I was about to change this girl's life no matter what it took.
In the end, Redd was absolutely worth every bit of effort. Though it wasn't always smooth sailing, I believe in her, I love her, and I will continue to root for her no matter what.