Marissa on The Glee Project 103
I knew a theme like this was coming because it is essential for the acting portion of the competition. Like my dad always says, so much of acting is being able to show your vulnerabilities. Weakness is more interesting than consistent strength, just like a flaw is more interesting than perfection. Nevertheless, I was terrified going in to this week.
Choreography wasn’t really needed for this music video because it wasn’t really a “performance,” it was us in the most brutally honest form. It was also done in front of the actual public instead of the production team and extras, so people’s responses would not be premeditated and their judgments would be taken at face value. In addition, our guest host, Dot, was incorporated into the video, which was very helpful personally for me. From the moment we met her at the homework assignment, when she almost picked me, I believed she could easily sense that I was having a hard time and said very nice and encouraging things to me then and throughout this experience. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without Dot! I love her!
See more pictures from the episode here.
I had never been quite comfortable with the word that I picked for my board. How could I walk around with the word “flawed”?! Everyone has flaws! Duh! That’s the whole point of this assignment: accepting and embracing our distinct flaws! I would have been disgusted at my own cowardice if I had kept this sign, experienced absolutely no emotional connection to it and earned a well-deserved ticket home. The second I saw Alex out there bravely wearing the truth about himself in big letters on his chest, I knew that I had to be brave too. It was a hard decision, but I’m glad I did it.
Walking around in public with my new sign sure didn’t feel good. It broke my heart to see some of the little girls that would walk by with their moms who were curiously looking over, and feeling like I let them down in the worst possible way, praying that they wouldn’t understand what my word meant. I felt like an awful role model, who should be preaching self-acceptance while I was displaying absolutely zero. However, it beat walking around with the word “flawed”, because even though I was made to be more uncomfortable and embarrassed, inside I didn’t feel emotionally dishonest and that I copped out.
Aside from this being the first time that I had even admitted to myself that I had had issues in the past, the hardest part of this week’s assignment was having to divulge my most personal struggles, internal turmoil, and pain, knowing that it would soon be broadcast to many viewers. I am notoriously a very private person, so the rest of the contenders knew how difficult it was for me.
I learned though that people aren’t necessarily going to condemn you if you show weakness. Conversely, showing your vulnerabilities demonstrates courage and strength, and people will generally acknowledge that and support you.
I was gutted when I found out that Emily had been eliminated. She was one of my best friends on the show and is one of the most genuine, good-hearted, brilliant people I have ever met. Not to mention very likely the best all-around and experienced performer there. That is why her elimination was also such a shock. It was stirring to know that, even if you produce the best last chance performance, stay on top of the game, and demonstrate the most consistently great work throughout the show, you can get the rug ripped right out from under you if your opponents are somewhat favored in character or some other factor. You can fight for your life but it just comes down to what will inspire Ryan for Glee. If anything, this made me even more terrified to meet him.
See what Emily had to say about being eliminated here.