Matheus on The Glee Project 104

When I first heard that this week's theme would be “Dance-Ability”, I was pretty excited. I've never really danced in public, but I love blasting some music and dancing by myself in my room Lol. Performing in front of Harry Shum was very surreal. I think that he is super talented and I always admired his dancing skills on the show.



See more photos from the episode here!

I was very familiar with the song “Hey Soul Sister”, since I did a cover of it on YouTube back in the day, and ‘Train’ is also one of my favorite bands. But since this week was dance ability, I was ready to get out there and show a few dancing tricks. Ryan's main critique of me was that I had to have more confidence in myself and that I had to "play what the show is". In his vision he saw me as "sexy", so during my dancing sequence I was going to show exactly what Ryan wanted. It's funny because ‘sexy’ was never a word I have related myself to in a sentence, so it still feels a bit awkward for me to evoke that. I've always had people saying that I'm weird and I'm this and I'm that... but I had to get my mind out of that mentality, or else Ryan would be disappointed in me.

Samuel ended up winning the homework assignment and I think he deserved it. He had been talking to me about how he felt that he hadn’t been standing out enough, so this week was a great opportunity for him to shine and I was very proud of him.

I was stoked when I found out that we were gonna be singing "Can't Touch This". It’s such an iconic song that we could all throw a lot of personality into. Our dancing rehearsal was way more vigorous than we originally thought it was going to be. We were all sore and sleepy the next morning for the music video shoot, but obviously we had to push through. And to be honest with you guys, after a few cups of coffee and just the thrill of shooting yet another music video, we all started waking up and getting really pumped.

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When we actually got to shooting my group - Damian, Marissa and me - something changed at the last second from the dance rehearsal. As opposed to making long big movements and being together in a little group, we were each put on different levels of a staircase. I was so nervous because the camera was right up in my face and I had to make each dance step much smaller, which kept throwing me off... So we had to keep doing different takes and Damian kept saying that my steps were throwing him off, too. I tried to fix it but I started panicking and thank God wardrobe had told me to wear those shades for the music video, because at the point of panic my eyes were all watery and I was almost crying. We tried doing another take and Damian came to tell me that I'm still throwing him off again, so this time I just told him to look at the camera and try to not look at me, because that was making me even more nervous. When I told him that, I was not trying to show attitude or anything, but merely trying to tell him to look into the camera because I was still trying to get the steps right and that way he wouldn't be thrown off by me. I was actually helping Damian with some of the steps during the dance rehearsal, so if anyone was going to be in the bottom I knew it should be me, and not him, for messing up in the beginning of the video. I didn't want him to be thrown off by me which is why I told him to just focus on the camera. Damian is like a brother to me and I know he didn't take it the wrong way. By this point in the competition, he's actually the one that I trust the most out of all the other contenders. I love my little big bro Lol =) Since I messed up during that first part in the music video, I was set to do my absolute best give 100% in the later parts of the shoot, especially during the freestyle part.

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In the back of my head, I knew I was gonna be in the bottom three because I messed up during the first part, so I had already settled that in my mind and was at peace with the fact that I'd perform in front of Ryan again. When Robert and Zach told me that they wanted me to sing "Down" by Jay Sean, I was thrilled. I remember always listening to that song on the radio. Ryan Murphy has been wanting me to act and "own" being sexy, and the judges actually said that's the reason they chose this song, so I wanted to be able to deliver that and hopefully not disappoint them. Alex and McKynleigh are two of the top singers in this competition, so being in the bottom three with them made me very nervous, but I tried not to think much of it and focus only on what I had to do.

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When it came time for me to perform the song in front of Ryan, I was feeling alright about it. No matter how embarrassed or shy I get, I will do it. He is the creator of GLEE, after all. This next performance apparently hit the spot for him. Maybe showing some dance moves and ripping my shirt off ended up helping him envision a new character for me lol. He started complimenting me and saying that I'd be able to inspire a lot of people in this world, which made me get really emotional and I start to cry on stage. I've had so many people say all different kinds of things about me in my life, and lots of it has been negative stuff about how different I am. Having someone of Ryan’s caliber say something like that to me... Wow, I can't even describe it. I get teary just writing about it now. So if any of you out there can relate to me, please don't ever give up on your dreams. If you truly want it, you will get there.

When I found out that I was safe this week, a major relief came over me and I was happy to be given another chance. McKynleigh ended up being the one who got eliminated and I was really sad to see her go. I know that no matter what, she will be very successful. She has one of the most gorgeous country voices I've ever heard and I definitely will be in line to buy her record.

See McKynleigh's extended exit interview here.

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