Being with Jennie on "90210" made me happy.

They always say you can never go home again. I always used to ponder over that statement and just assumed it to be true. After all, people change. Circumstances change. Life goes on. Then I found out that it is true that you can never go home again...to the home in reference as you once knew it to be. But, when the new "90210" came a knockin' I knew I needed to go home again. If for no other reason than to say life as Donna had come full circle and I had done it for the fans. But I never expected it to be as emotionally rewarding as the experience turned out to be. I had fears! When we last saw Donna she just married David and was blissfully happy and had her whole life ahead of her. Not to mention I was just 26 and had auburn hair! Now, 10 years later I wanted to make sure we did Donna justice and that I felt comfortable returning to the iconic character of my youth now as a woman, a wife, and a mom of two! It took some sorting out but creatively the producers let me weigh in on my character, thankfully. Then, my first day was upon us.... I couldn't sleep the night before! I was so nervous. I felt like the new girl going to her 1st day of high school. What if no one accepted me? Would I have to overcome the " Tori Spelling" stigmatism all over again? Would I remember HOW to play Donna? Well... Good news! Everyone was really nice, they did accept me, and they got over the whole "Tori Spelling" of it all. Some crew members even commented: "Wow. You are so nice. I have to admit we thought you might be a prima donna (no pun intended)." And I not only remembered how to play Donna but also loved "finding" her again. She had been there all the time. A part of me that I just hadn't accessed in about 10 years. And, then there's MY Jennie.Jennie Garth and I always remained close. She will always be like a sister to me. But, we have very busy different lives now and don't get together that often although we try to email a couple times a month. She hadn't even met Stella yet. So, being with her on "90210" made me happy. It made me calm. It made it HOME again. We went right back to giggly school-girl mode. Although years ago we giggled over boys as Donna and Kelly and now we chatted and giggled over our beautiful babies. Funny how life and friends and even zip codes do come full circle! At the same time as "90210" was starting, Dean was leaving. He booked "Santa Baby 2" an ABC Family Christmas movie starring along side Jenny McCarthy. Great opportunity for him and his career but it meant taking him to Calgary for 5 weeks. That's 5 weeks of us Dean-less. I was panicked. We vowed to never be apart for more than 3 days! Last year before Stella was born he did have to go to Toronto to film "Saving God" for 3 weeks. But 5 weeks, with two kids and me working full time as well!?! Well they say when it rains it pours and while I was grateful in this economy that we both had work opportunities coming our way, I had hoped they wouldn't happen at the same time. But that's life. I was scared though to be perfectly honest. How would 5 weeks affect our relationship? We thrive on togetherness! And I was worried about Liam. He's SUCH a Daddy's boy. How would I explain that his world would be thrown into a tizzy for 5 weeks? But, life goes on whether we accept it or not so I knew we would have to get through it. And, my first call was to my gay-husband Mehran to see if he could stay with the kids and I. Luckily he said yes! And, thank goodness for video chats! Every night we could see and talk to Daddy on the computer! I had to be strong for Liam and Stella!To take my mind off of it a bit I decided to add one more thing to my already full plate. But, in the name of charity! We love The Ronald McDonald House Charity and decided to throw a charity event in our backyard to raise money for them. It was nearing the end of winter and finally we had a big back yard. Together those two things add up to a Winter wonderland! When I was a little girl my parents did a lot of extravagant things for us. Some I found over the top but one memory I always carried with me fondly was my Dad giving me a white Christmas in L.A. by bringing snow into our backyard for us to play in. It was amazing and I always said if I could one day -- on a smaller level, of course -- do it for my kids. So, this was a chance to do it for my kids and all of the Ronald McDonald house kids that would be attending, and to raise money for them. I'm a party planner to the extreme. Hands on with every detail. But this event I had to kinda plan over the phone since I was working 15-hour days on the "90210" set. The set-up didn't turn out to be everything I had hoped for but in the end I realized that it was ALL about the kids. They saw snow, a small hill to sled down, and The Jumpitz there to perform and they were in heaven! It was an amazing day. The only thing that would have made it better is if Dean had been there to share it with us!All in all everything works out how it's supposed to. Liam's all about Dean so maybe this time apart will be good for my relationship with my little man. He needs mommy-bonding time and I was excited to have that. Hope he will give Dean his side of the bed back when he returns!!!!! xoxo

Read more about: Tori Spelling

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