I hurt and upset the person I love and adore.

I can't say this enough, being away from my wife and family is the toughest thing, and this year was the most I've been away from them. I miss so many things when I'm away from Jack, Liam and Stella. Tori surprising me in Calgary was amazing. I had no idea whatsoever she had a surprise up her sleeve, especially after I surprised her in NYC. I honestly thought we would just see each other after I finished filming Santa Baby 2. Bringing the kids to Santa's workshop was really sweet. To see Liam's eyes just widen with joy to see all those toys was great!! Stella was a little too young to get it, but soon enough. I just hope there's a Santa Baby 3. Taking Tori and Liam dog sledding was one of the happiest days in Calgary! It was almost the equivalent of getting her on a motorcycle, ha ha. I felt like such a He-man driving my dogs across the frozen tundra, searching for food and shelter for my family. My heart melted when T and the kids met me at the airport, I didn't expect it. It made feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have my little family so excited to see me.I try to reassure T of my motorcycle riding by trying to instill in her the confidence and experience I have as a rider. I don't go out and ride or race to crash. I go out to live! In order to do that, you have to be in the moment. Your only thought and focus should be of riding. If you ride with fear, you get hurt. I don't know if she's buying it, but I keep trying to sell it! Being back on the track after five weeks of being away from it wad exciting! You feel a bit rusty, but once you warm up and get a few laps under your belt, it all comes flooding back! Your confidence comes back, and your lap times come down. It's like riding a bike . . . ha ha.At the risk of sounding too machismo, my crash was a great learning experience. It taught me what it is like to actually crash a motorcycle. I've never crashed a bike up until that moment. It taught me what I did wrong. It taught me what being over confident can do to you; it can turn on you and bite you in the ass real quick. It also gave me a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling that I had joined an elite club of guys who have crashed. An experience not many have had, a feeling of earning my stripes. My fight with T after I crashed was one of the worst feelings I have ever had. I hurt and upset the person I love and adore so much in this world. I made a judgment error in not calling her, and I felt like a complete ass for not doing so. Aarrgghh, I hate even remembering it. I don't want to stop motorcycle riding and racing, but if it causes my wife such worry and stress, it's something I have to seriously consider. I want to make her happy in life and it won't be easy to give it up, but I'd do anything for her. She's my life.

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