Pop culture trends come and go. Here are a few that are definitely gone. Put on your nostalgia caps, kids. Grab the collectable lunch box you’re using as a purse, throw a t-shirt under your favorite spaghetti strapped dress and prepare to take a walk down memory lane on a street with no name that has since been totally remolded and replaced with a way newer street that looks nothing like it used to but now has waaaay better Internet access.
1. . Apple Commercials
I actually had to text a friend to ask if Apple was still running televised ad campaigns. Compare that to when “I’m a Mac,” “And I’m a PC!” were the best part of prime time television, or at least the only commercials we didn’t use as a bathroom break.
2. . Olympic Ice Skating
Tanya Harding! Nancy Kerrigan! Oksana Baiul! Color me a girl who grew up in the midwest, but we knew who won, what they were wearing, and the US kicked bootie on the podium. Whatever happened to the days of innocence when a low blow to the knee was the worst thing to come out of professional sports. (NFL, I’m looking at you.)
3. . The George Foreman Grill
It’s how I leaned to cook and the reason I no longer have any idea how to cook! The George Foreman Grill came in a convenient “meat for one” size that fit perfectly into any dorm room or broken home.
4. . The Series Finale of MASH
The two and a half hour TV movie served as the 256th episode of MASH and remains the most watched television broadcast in American history to this day. Super Bowl XLIV beat it in total viewership in 2010, but still fell short in ratings share, so I’m not counting it. Who knows? Maybe the show will have a major hipster re-surgence and MASH will be the new Cheers when it comes to hipster street cred and #NetflixAndChill.
5. . Full Length Infomercials
Sham Wow. Food dehydrator. Those knives that could cut through anything! Late night TV isn’t what it used to be. Where once we binged on cheaply made infomercials about cheaply made products, now we can watch whatever we want to in the middle of the night. Now where’s the discovery in that? Who wouldn’t give three easy payments of $39.95 to have the Shake Weight be relevant again.
6. . I Can Has Cheezburger
Ugh. Move over, internet meme. What was once cute is now f*cking annoying. Take a night course in grammar and get back to us when you understand emojis.
7. . LSD
Before there was Molly there was this! Once thought to be the solution to world peace, LSD is still around, but lacks the street cred it once had. The idea of totally losing control is scary to kids today. Sure, you might discover a profound truth on your psychedelic journey through space and time, but with party drugs today, you can have mediocre hook ups with strangers in the bathroom at a concert hall named after a phone company. Oh, the times, they are a changing. (Brought to you by Verizon.)
8. . Blur v Oasis
Wait, what? Who? Well, it used to be a big deal when the Britpop bands faced off. And then there was that time Oasis said they were bigger than the Beatles. Now we have Kanye West for all our pop music drama needs. P.S. Did you hear about neo-frenemies Katy Perry and Taylor Swift? Move over, Nicki Minaj. Taylor Swift has bad blood with a new pop princess.
9. . LimeWire and Napster
We all secretly knew it wasn’t going to last, and now we either stream for free and deal with the commercials or shell out $9.95 a month to have the music world at our fingertips (without hearing an unbearable fax machine screeching noise in the middle of a song).
10. . All of TV Being Set in New York
Friends, Seinfeld, Sex and the City… is it just me or were there 10 years when TV was set exclusively in unaffordable Manhattan apartments? Sure, there are still an insane amount of shows that take place in The Big Apple, but at least now we have post-apocalyptic Atlanta (Walking Dead) and mythological Game of Thrones land as an option.
11. . The Backstreet Boys
Couldn’t one of them have made it as a breakout solo star, because I’m pretty sure there was a time in my life where I bet my friend that The Backstreet Boys were going to outlast N’Sync, and I’m pretty sure that I lost that bet. Then again, Amanda put her money on 98 Degrees, so at least I didn’t finish last.
12. . Superhero Reboots
Fiiiiine, it’s still technically socially relevant, but come on. If the reviews of Batman vs Superman have taught us anything it’s that the industry is grasping at straws. You know what they say: one man's trash is another man's billion dollar franchise.