Forget what the dictionary says, Amber Rose defines consent once and for all for those who just don't get it. The model is tired of victim-blaming and judging consent based on what a woman is wearing or how deep into a sexual situation she is. No means no. "If I'm laying down with a man -- butt-naked -- and his condom is on, and I say, 'You know what? No. I don't want to do this. I changed my mind,' that means no," says Amber. "That means f-ing no. That's it."
Amber spoke out on Tyrese Gibson and Rev. Run's new relationship series, "It's Not You, It's Men." Both Tyrese and Rev seemed genuinely confused. Tyrese tries to compare consent to forcing a guy dressed as a basketball player to play basketball with you. Uh, no. I'm willing to bet $20 Tyrese is not going up to every NBA player forcing them for a pick-up game. Rev Run tries to draw a comparison about revealing clothing and promiscuity. "I've heard a quote like, 'Dress how you want to be addressed," he says. "Oh, boo," Amber responds. "No. That's not realistic. Stop it. If I want to wear a short skirt or a tank top, and I'm at the club and I'm having fun with my friends and I feel sexy, I'm not DTF," she says. "I didn't come here to have sex. I didn't come here to hook up with nobody. I came out here with my girls and I just feel pretty. I'm not 'asking for' nothing."
It's sad how perplexing the topic of sexual consent is--even for so-called relationship experts like Tyrese and Rev Run. What was she wearing? Is she a slut? Amber Rose knows these questions arise in many of us because of how society molded us. "I'm not mad at y'all," the former stripper says to Tyrese and Rev Run. "That's how society raised all of us."
Let's be honest, society sends women ridiculously mixed, unattainable signals. Be sexy but not too sexy. Don't have a high body count--whatever that magic number is--or people will think you're a whore. A low cut shirt isn't consent. Being an Instagram model isn't consent. It's time to air out these outdated and offensive stereotypes and erase them from our collective conscience. The first step is having a dialogue. Thank you Amber Rose for being brave enough to start it.