Love & Relationships

Congratulations, You're About To Have A Threesome!! Now What?

Follow these rules before stuff gets weird.

You know what they say: two’s a company, three’s a threesome! Whether you’ve done it a billion times or are thinking about dipping your toe in the water for your very first group swim, having a threesome is one of the most common fantasies out there with the potential for great fun to be had all around. If you’ve got the itch, but aren’t quite sure how to scratch, then read on. It may take two to tango, but a waltz is always done in threes. Do not ask for whom the sexual revolution tolls. It tolls for thee. Etc. 

Let’s assume you’ve already chosen your line up, and are no longer hunting for a mate. The majority of threesomes occur between a couple and a plus one, but the sky’s the limit. Whether you’ve assembled your team via word of mouth, a Tinder swipe, a swingers’ bar or a more official transaction, let’s talk about how to proceed once you’re already between the sheets. 

1. Avoid negotiating on the fly.

If there are rules, establish them first. This is especially true if two of the three players are in a committed relationship -- but it's just generally a good thing to talk about it in advance. Make sure you have a sense of what everyone in the group is hoping to get out of the experience, and, even more importantly, make sure you determine beforehand if anything is explicitly out of bounds. Unfortunately, we don’t make it easy to talk about sex in our culture, so this may feel like a buzzkill, but, believe me, it will pay dividends in the end. For example, lesbie honest, butt stuff isn’t for everyone… but sometimes it is. Even after you’ve determined boundaries, have your body-language-meter set to extra sensitive throughout the experience. Quality sexy time requires a lot of communication, which increases exponentially with every new person you ad. 

2. Choose whether you want someone to be the star or whether you are an ensemble cast.

Andy Warhol once said, “in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” He probably wasn't talking about threesomes, but it also happens to be one of the guiding principles of a quality threesome. Generally speaking, everyone should get to take turns doing all the things: kissing, touching, being touched, etc. Sure, it’s going to be a little awkward at first. Sleeping with anybody for the first time usually is, but the best way to make it awesome is to get in there and operate with confidence. If you want something reciprocated, start by giving it away.

Exceptions include the ol’ threesome as a gift approach. Maybe you’re adding a third to celebrate one person in particular or to enact a particular fantasy. That’s fine. That’s a lot of fun, actually, but make sure all parties know that going in so that no one leaves the all-you-can-eat buffet still hungry for more.

3. Try to be a little less weird about the things which you are generally weird about.

Guys, I’m looking at you. Many men avoid man-man-woman threesomes not because they are against their partner being touched by another man, but because they are against being touched by another man themselves. Stay true to who you are, but keep in mind that if a threesome were a basketball defense strategy, it would be running a zone rather than man on man. Stuff is going to be a little bit different, and the more willing you are to roll with it, the harder everyone gets to rock. Plus, it can knock you out of habits or patterns, which never hurts no matter who you are. Threesomes come in all shapes and sizes, despite the utter lack of available stock images to the contrary.

4. Know when the curtain is called.

Be aware that there may not be a clear end point to this magical experience, so you should go in willing to play for multiple rounds. Respond to the pace of the group rather than trying to dictate it or waiting for it to tell you what to do. Mostly, just be open. If you choose positive partners and come into the experience willing to be open, listen and respond, there should be more than enough fun to go around.

All Posts About:
Scout Durwood Love & Relationships

You May Also Like...

Recommended by Zergnet