How to Go Ghost on Your Relationship: A Step-by-Step Guide
When you gotta ghost, you gotta ghost.
Love don’t live here anymore. You know that moment when the thrill is gone and your relationship is so o-v-e-r but you can’t say it? Sometimes you just don’t want to confront your significant other to have THE TALK. It’s awkward and you know how it’s going to end (Cue tears and slashed tires) --- so why bother? Chuck the deuces without saying a word by going ghost. It may not be the most courageous or kind method, but sometimes you just gotta ghost. The art of fading away in a relationship, or ghosting, worked for superstar Charlize Theron when she recently broke up with Sean Penn and it was what singer Jason Derulo did when he dumped Jordin Sparks. Here’s your step-by-step guide to ghosting like the stars.
Step 1: Confirm You’re Really Gonna Ghost
Once you go ghost, you never go back. Be 100% certain that you’re done with this relationship. Because you’re taking the ghost way out—which some argue is cowardly or immature--know that you’ll probably never have a friendship with this person again.
Step 2: Stop Any and All Contact
Stop any and all contact with your significant other. Delete his/her contact info from your phone, Google chat, etc. Any unanswered texts, calls or DMs will be left just that—unanswered. It may feel strange leaving things in the balance but this is what a ghost gotta do.
Step 3: Ignore Any Follow-Up Messages & Threats
You’ve stopped responding. Most likely, you’ll receive messages from your boo asking why. You may get seemingly innocent messages about where you are or asking if you’re okay. They may even drop the L-word. Do not respond. These messages will escalate to threats and angry words with many, many exclamation points or emoji. Again, do not respond. This is a part of the ghosting process.
Step 4: Unplug All Social Media
The phone is just one way you’re connected, so make sure to cut ties on any and all social media too. Unfriend your ex on Facebook and unfollow his/her Twitter and Instagram. Do not attempt to stalk or lurk on their pages. You may find subliminal (or obvious) shots against you. Plus, you may inadvertently “like” a photo or status and you’ll have to start the ghosting process from Step 1.
Step 5: Prepare for the Backlash
By now, your former flame has the hint that the relationship is donezos. They may have sent mean tweets your way or told every Tom, Dick and Harry that you’re a scumbag and worse than Berger was to Carrie on Sex and the City (Remember his “I’m sorry. I can’t Don’t hate me” Post-It note?) This backlash is normal. Well, not normal, it's psycho. But it's a common response to the ghost. Don’t respond directly or indirectly and if you’re ever asked about you-know-who, just play totally ignorant.
Once you go through these five steps, do not look back. Continue ghosting until you know the relationship is dead. Fully dead. Not dead like in horror movies when the zombie comes back to life in the last scene.
Congrats! You've ghosted! Now go find better people to date.