Science Can Help You Find Love. Here's How!
Seven tips to being a great dater.
Everyone has an opinion on how to find love. Friends, relationship experts, your mama-- but what about science? Tech Insider sorted through surveys and data to find seven tips (backed by researchers) to get you closer to landing a soulmate--or at least, become a better dater.
1. Date as much as possible.
Date like it's your j-o-b. Couples psychologist Peter Pearson tells singles to "date as much as they can manage or tolerate." It's a numbers game and the more dates you go on, the more you discover what you want (and what you don't want) in a partner.
2. Have fun!
No one likes a Debbie Downer or a Bitter Betty. Have fun. The journal Evidence Based Medicine from Queen Mary University of London finds that successful dating profiles show smiling and fun photos, like group photos.
3. Listen (or act like you're listening).
A Stanford study in the American Journal of Sociology analyzed speed daters and found out that women like communication. Of all of the men, they chose those who were appreciative and symphathetic in their listening skills.
4. Use the 70:30 rule in your profile.
The Queen Mary recommends using the "70:30 rule" in your online or dating app profile to get more matches: Devote 70% of your profile to who you are and 30% to what you're looking for in a partner. Don't make it a laundry list of dealbreakers.
5. Don't let anxiety get you down.
Dating can be daunting but anxiety can be used to your favor. A 2010 study ("Adult attachment and dating strategies: How do insecure people attract mates?") found out that anxious behavior can be seen as attractive; it's all in how you spin it. A nervous dater may crack too many jokes but the other person see it as a great sense of humor. Win!
6. Don't wait forever.
Daters have more options than ever before so if you like someone, don't wait weeks before hitting them back. A study of messaging from the University of California, Berkeley, found that waiting too long to reciprocate a message can backfire. Yeah, like you get blocked forever.
7. Meet over cocktails.
There's nothing wrong with a good, old fashioned date over cocktails. Data from Match.com found that a great first date is a drink or two over the course of a couple of hours. If the date sucks, you're allowed to leave in an hour (or less) but if it's going well, don't overstay your welcome. Plan a second date.