Love & Relationships

Straight Girls, Here's How To Handle Your Girl Crush

Out and proud lesbian Scout Durwood knows a few things about Women Crush Wednesdays.

If you went liberal arts college, you know what it’s like to have a "gay scare." As gender and sexuality become increasingly more fluid, it’s no surprise that we increasingly come face to face with those blurred lines. If you’re concerned that your #WCW has gotten #2Legit2Quit have no fear. These FOUR simple steps are here for you.

Option One: just dive on in

We live in 2015. If you feel like you have a crush on someone, go for it. You’re both adults. Relationships don’t work out for billions of reasons. Sexual identity in NBD in the scheme of things. Disagree? Great. Then read the rest of the list. (If you do agree, than seriously, what are you waiting for? Go for it!)

Option Two: Spend some quality time with your #WCW

It’s easy to love someone you’ve only just met. Cinderella, am I riiiiight? If you want to find out if your “harmless crush” has potential, start spending time with the person you’re crushing on. The more time you spend with her, the more likely the initial oxytocin/serotonin rush you’re experiencing will fade, allowing you to assess what’s really there. For reasons not yet completely known, when you meet someone to whom you are attracted, your body sends a rush of “yes, please” feel-good chemicals throughout your body. It’s what we mean by “sexual chemistry.” If you want to know if it’s for real, stick around long enough to see if the initial ooh-la-la is nothing more than a flash in the pan.

If after some one on one your heart is still a flutter, it is worth examining for real.

Let it be known, it is possible to have one same-sex relationship without ever being able to have opposite-sex relationships again. Who you are dating does not define who you will ever date, so if you’re still in panic mode that your life is about to change, chill out. Many men (but mostly women) experience an intense romantic and physical connection with another woman, but go on to have a lifetime commitment with a man. Life moves forward one step at a time. Trying to skip one just cheats yourself of an experience. You don’t have to “come out” on day two or week three of being in your first same-sex relationship. You’re in control of your ship, so don’t be afraid of setting sail into uncharted seas just because you’re worried people will read your captain’s log. 

If your crush goes away, no worries.

You are still a sexual realized being. The world is your oyster. Or sausage. Whatever you’re into. And, to be fair, you could be into both. Oysters pair frequently with chorizo. #IronChef

Even if your crush stays, it doesnt have to change who you are or how you identify.

Who you’re with doesn’t define who you are. I know plenty of happy long-term lesbian couples for whom this is one or both of their first relationships with a woman. Individual human beings are attracted to other individual human beings. The rest of it is mostly just politics. 

In other words, bitches be complicated. 

Read more about: Scout DurwoodLove & Relationships

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