Love & Relationships

The Etiquette Of An Email Party Invite

I do not want to read that you are coming late because you have your friend Lauren's thing beforehand.

Now that Facebook is being overrun by all our older relatives linking rants from unreliable news sources, high school colleagues making political arguments, and everybody else posting engagement photos, it’s no longer the best place to send out large-scale birthday invitations. Nowadays, we rely on email. But this brings out a whole new set of problems (aside from me forgetting to RSVP). Although I prefer my email account to be filled with 20 percent off coupons, promotional emails, dog pictures from my mother, and Nigerian Princes promising me millions of dollars, sometimes emails are also good for the impending sense of doom one feels when going to a get-together. A group email feels so much more formal. There are certain rules of etiquette one has to consider when sending one or receiving one. To make the email less of a hassle for all of us, I will give you some tips below:

1. Please Do Not BCC

If you do a BCC, I will find you, and I will make you open up your damn email and show me who you sent the invite out to. This is not work, for goodness sake. I know that you are not secretly adding the CFO to our team email about dress code. This is supposed to be fun, and now you are attacking all of us by lying by omission. I don’t want to hide that I am going to a party, in case you didn’t invite my roommate and she will get her feelings hurt. I would rather know up front. I don’t want to be caught unawares when you invite my ex, just because you guys sometimes hang out and play dodgeball or whatever New York group sport you're trying out to be a little less lonely. I need to mentally prepare if you invite your boss, because then I won’t show up topless.I need to know the details.

2. Include All The Pertinent Information

 Do you know how many emails I’ve gotten that don’t include your apartment number, or your cell number? Why would I know your apartment number? Why would I know that the bar you’re having your party in is in a speakeasy? What am I, a mindreader? Here is what I need to know: the address and time (seriously), if there’s going to be food, if there is some stupid dress code, and if I need to say your name at the door. I hate saying names at the door because it makes me feel like a loser who thinks that’s something that will get you inside of places. Because usually, it doesn’t. 

3. Keep It Short

I don’t want to read your thesis on sexuality in Perks of Being A Wallflower. I want to read a short invite that has at least one solid joke, probably at the expense of yourself. Let’s not make this one your masterpiece. I have to get back to my coupon emails now.

4. Include When The Receiver Should RSVP By

Nobody's going to RSVP if you don't include some kind of stern but cute reminder that they have a deadline to do it. Make something up: I need to tell the owner of the bar how many people are coming, I need to know how much sweet delicious booze to buy, etc. Let people know they can't just be human meat sacks that don't have responsibility to people.

5. If You're Receiving, Do Not RSVP Reply All With A Worthless Comment

I do not want to read an inside joke to the host. I do not want to read that you are coming late because you have your friend Lauren’s thing beforehand, and if you don’t end up making it, we should all go to brunch the next day! For one thing: we know this is not going to happen. Why would you tell this lame lie to the crowd? Anybody who says they have another party to go to but they would try to come afterward has no plans to come later. If you planned to come later, you would just say “I’ll be there at 10” and then you show up at 10. We don’t want to see your little charade.

6. DO Reply All If You Have Something Pertinent To Say

 If you have an inquiry that will benefit the group, like “should I bring anything” or “the playoffs are happening, will there be a tv to watch this on?”…ie something only the host would know, feel free to inquire to the group. It could benefit all of us to learn.

7. Don't Fall Into Your Friend's Trap

 If your friend asks you to Reply All just because enough people haven’t RSVP’d, don’t listen to them! If they want RSVP’s, they should send their own email! Don’t become the sacrificial lamb for your friend’s affairs!

8. And Mostly, Just RSVP


It looks so much worse to not RSVP on an email! So respond! Go and have fun! Get out of the house!


Read more about: Love & Relationships

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