Love & Relationships

Why You Don't Need To Vaguebook Your Feelings (Or How To be An Adult)

Vaguebooking makes you look a little immature, honestly. No matter how mad you are at your friends for brunching without you.

Oh, no! You and a friend got into a fight! Or maybe your mom is bothering you to no end about your single life and you need to vent. Or maybe you just friended your high school gym teacher and found out she’s Trump-obsessed and posts memes about how “ALL LIVES MATTER” or the actual worst, “I only see one race THE HUMAN ONE!” Barf!

Basically, you want to go IN. There’s just one problem. The person you want to lay into is your Facebook friend, and they’ll see the status, and you're just not ready to go nuclear on that relationship. So what do you do? You post a Facebook status that vaguely touches upon the issue you want to get into without calling anybody out. It hits all your points, right? It kind of gets things off your chest, it gets attention and encouragement by people who you haven't talked to in months, and no friendships or relationships ruined. Great, right?

Wrong. Gosh darn it, Facebook isn't your personal AIM away message. You are not a teenager anymore. You are an adult who needs to use your words. You are an adult and, if you have a problem with someone, perhaps it’s better to talk it out instead of getting an army of blind encouragement from a bunch of people commenting on a FB status at work. Don't vaguebook! Here’s why you shouldn’t do it!

1. You Don't Need To Collect Facebook Friends

If someone appearing on your feed is putting stuff on their wall that offends or upsets you, you have three options aside from vaguebooking: Unfriend, mute, or call them out. You don’t need 10k facebook friends to fulfill your life. If you don’t want to be their friend because you haven’t seen them in forever, don’t want to see them, and don't ever want to see them again, you don’t have to “connect.” It really doesn’t matter. Unfriend. Move on. If they are someone in your life that you can’t or shouldn’t get rid of, mute them. But if it really bothers you enough to make a status about how “people are so ignorant today,” perhaps it would be best to go to the source. Say something. Get into an educated conversation the next time they post something that bothers you. Why stay quiet? Why stay passive aggressive? Get into it.

2. If You Put Someone On Blast, It Makes Things Worse

All a Vaguebook post does is get somebody mad, and also paranoid.  If they think it’s about them, they’ll get upset that you’d rather post something than talk about them. That makes the situation worse. It creates tension, it creates a barrier to discussion, and it kind of makes you look petty. And if they don’t get that it’s about them, it’ll never fix the problem, either. They'll go out of their way to justify why you wouldn’t write about them, and they’ll never fix the problem. 

3. It's Immature

4. It Means You Care More About The Validation Than The Solution

What do you want from this? Do you want to better your life and relationships? Or do you just want to be salty? Do you care more about people telling you how right you are, or do you want to fix what’s going on. Know this: if you care less about fixing it, calling them out, and talking about it, and more about putting the person on blast...? Maybe they shouldn’t be in your life at all.

5. It Also Makes You Look Messy

For every person commenting “go you!” there’s 10 rolling their eyes. We all have fights with people. We all get mad. But if you’re the messy one who lives for drama, people take note. Just so you know!


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