Will The Oreo Big Crunch Candy Bar Save 2016?
The new candy bar launches next week.
The cultural meme that 2016 was the worst year ever is lame and tired but also — let's be real — 2016 was pretty terrible. Literally, everything was scary. Luckily, a ray of pure light and goodness seems to have descended from the heavens and has taken physical form in the shape of a chocolate coated cookie. Will this tasty comestible be 2016's savior?
The new seraphic snack food is called the Oreo Big Crunch Bar. It's an oreo covered in European milk chocolate. There is literally nothing wrong with it and us lowly, despicable humans DO NOT DESERVE A TREAT SO TRULY DIVINE.
“We’ve been planning to introduce Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars for some time given our overseas success” with the Milka line of chocolate bars, an Oreo spokesperson told The Washington Times.
“Before launching a new product, we always look at every market introduction through a local lens and time of year,” the spokesperson added. "The holiday season in particular is a time when we see families sharing a range of delicious treats and we think they’ll especially love our new Milka Oreo Big Crunch Chocolate Candy Bar." Sure, sure, sure holiday blah blah blah. WHATEVER. WHERE CAN I GET THE DAMN COOKIE?!
According to the WP, The Big Crunch will "hit the candy aisles of Wal-Mart, Kroger, ShopRite and Albertsons stores nationwide on Monday."
GREAT BUT WHAT TO DO TO SURVIVE UNTIL THEN?!
Please deliver us from 2016's evil, sweet Oreo Big Crunch Candy Bar.
[Photo: Getty Images]