Bad Girls Club is a place where everyone postures and everyone uses each other to get what they need. My role was no different, I needed the girls to work the house and build each other up while I was away. In a place like BGC, that’s not easy.
There were two different worlds going on in that house…inside and outside the coaching room. Inside, (most of) the girls were getting open and vulnerable, and doing huge work. Outside, it was what they described as a ‘war zone.’ In order to provide lasting change for each woman, they needed to practice their skills in the house. If not, it’s like using a curling iron with no spray to set it…it’s cute in the minute, but falls fast.
Although I made a formal deal with Blu to help me help her and help the house, that was really my deal with every girl. Fact is, the more empowered each woman became individually, the more they cut the posturing and got down to truth collectively. Strengthening the ‘weaker’ women and softening the ‘stronger’ women gave them all an opportunity to grow. You can’t have a bully if you don’t have a willing victim.
The work got started in the coaching room and was practiced in the house. Every woman needed to become an advocate for her own change, and start supporting others in theirs.
This is the Bad Girls Club…talking about feelings in a house full of women who are primed to jump on weakness isn’t easy. No one signed on to hold hands and skip through daisies…maybe stomp on them and then burn the forest down. Fact is Bad Girls like to make a point…and not with a whisper. So sitting around taking responsibility amd talking about feelings is about as impossible as it gets.
And these women were willing to do it! Many of them began to change as fast as they used to pop off. There were women on a fast track to change, they were open, interested, and ready. And, there were women who came in with bigger walls to break down. But if they came into that room, sat on my couch, that said something.
Stepping into that room and doing the work was huge for the girls. Then stepping up to the house…that’s a whole other kind of stepping…
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