Episode 411 Recap

By permanenteditor
Episode 11: Puppet MasterThe episode opens in reverse: The girls return from their Santa Barbara trip and call attention to their plethora of bruiseswe the viewers are lost. What caused these bruises? Where is everyone? Who am I? Before we can answerit starts back at the beginning. Thanks Oxygen for going all Tarantino on us. Flo's gone and Kate returns from the hospital, apparently de-swined. They rip Flo's picture off the wall and rejoice by throwing it in the pool, as Amber says "to metaphorically drown her"...I think she was trying to make a clever allusion to her and Flo's epic pool fight...I think.Natalie wants to have fun with her little "monster" and takes Kendra to get a new weave...a $500 weave. When Natalie plays with her toys, I guess she goes big or goes home. Wait. This doll paid for it herself. Best toy EVER! Kendra claims she's fully aware of Natalie's presumed intentions and "won't be played!" Yet, she does absolutely nothing about it. With new hair in TOE...hahaha, Natalie and Kendra invite some new man-meat over to devour. But for once the girls' conversations with the aforementioned man-meat is not gold-digging, or booty-gettin', but almost more in the tone of yearning for a soul-mate. What an appropriate follow up to Valentine's day. The next day the girls decide to get away and get a fresh Flo-less start! They book a Santa Barbara get away. Meanwhile, Annie's patience with Kate is growing thin and we wonder what will be the straw that broke the camel's back. Amber drops Rich off at the airport and although saddened, the girls get ready for their trip...did I mention that Annie and Kate are sick and will be home, together?! Within a few minutes of arriving in Santa Barbara, the girls are already making a scene. They pass out sex toys to elderly couples and start downing the tequila, the right proper way in giant sombreros...our girls are oh so fashionable! Back at the house...Annie lists all the things she hates about Kate: everything. When Annie asks Kate to clean her own dishes, and Kate responds just as I'd assume a hot girl who's never had to clean up after herself would: she says that Annie obviously needs to grow up and that she's a giant nerd. Very mature and reasonable Kate. I hope you find a husband fast because I don't see how you'll make it much longer on your own...wow, this first week of being single is ROUGH!Back in SB, many shots and innocent bags of confetti later, Kendra and Natalie start fighting over the existential questions that plague all our lives, no? Oh wait, the fight is over a makeup brush....that's right. My bad. They decide to solve their problems by migrating to another bar. Natalie's getting ridiculous and after being denied admittance, is soon written up for open alcohol container by to PO-lice! And true to herself, she mouths off just the same to "the man" serving up ample scoops of rude and condescending. Kendra, I mean, Druuuunk-ass Kendra, tries to intervene but actually makes things worse and almost gets arrested! Somehow they're not taken to the slammer and the two get away with just a ticket. Kendra believing she's saved Natalie's ass becomes enraged when Natalie doesn't immediately kiss her ass. So what does Kendra do to stand her ground?! Refuse to hold Natalie's purse, ooooooh burn! The ultimate girl betrayal.They move on to yet another club...of course, where after a few more drinks the animosity escalates from verbal to physical in true BG fashion! Amber and Lexie somehow miraculously separate the two and Amber and Lexie chase after Kendra to console her. They find her hunched behind a Dumpster and quickly realize she's too far gone. Natalie appears in a puff of smoke and...we've come full circle. But this time, the fight is vicious! Apparently an open air, outdoor fight allows for a great deal more movement, and thus more bitch-slap span. Which in BG math = maximum damage, far greater than anything ever possible within the confines of a limo. Consider this fight the heavy-weight Fake girl fight of the season! Some rando's (read: random dudes) intervene and attempt to tear the girls' off each other...are these guys the crew? It remains unclear. Amber, Lexie and Kendra get in the car and drive all the way home to LA...without Natalie.Back at the house, the girls fear what will happen if Natalie finds her way back to the house. Kendra decides to think it over by curling up into a ball in the shower. And we the viewers are left in awe, fear, and trepidation. Will Natalie return? Whose car did she just get into? Can Annie and Kate finally duke it out? Aww my sweet BG lovers, you will just have to wait until next week!Happy belated Valentine's day my Bad Girl lovers! And be sure to visit www.evilbeetgossip.com for your weekly BG run down!
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