Bad Girls Club 807 Recap: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Bad Girl Left Behind

Yo! What’s up? It’s your resident blogger Liz Out Loud. As you may or may not know, I’m not actually on the Bad Girls Club, I just write about it! So let’s talk, shall we?

This week the girls get to go on a trip to Lake Havasu. Now, what with the active lifestyle they lead in Vegas, you know . . . napping, drinking, tanning, pouring salad dressing on mattresses . . . you know they are going to Live. It. Up.

But before they take their completely drama-free road trip, Gia invites Matt over. Remember Matt? He was the guy that Gia beat up while she was really, really drunk! And because his first visit was so much fun, he has returned with an entourage of about 20 guys, who according to everyone else in the house are low budget. They didn’t even bring their own food! Tacky! Erica explains how she doesn’t date broke-ass men. She prefers clean-cut gentlemen with big muscles, and they have to have money SOMEHOW. Emphasis on the SOMEHOW. They could be strippers, drug dealers, black market organ dealers, it’s all good as long as they have mad loot in their fat wallets. And maybe they could buy her some new pajama pants!

The guys leave, and Amy and Demitra go streaking in the backyard because why not?

Now it’s time to go to Lake Havasu! They take two cars: the twins and Gia in one and Erica, Demitra, Elease, and Amy in the other. Amy, bless her heart, brings a mini-inflatable palm tree named Palmer (get it?).

Upon arrival in Lake Havasu, the girls stop at a soup kitchen to volunteer. JK! They stop at, get this, a bar! After drinking several cocktails out of a bucket (for realz) they head to their hotel where they discover –gasp!- they only have one room for seven people! They all clutch their pearls (ha, like they have pearls) at the horror, but then we learn that it’s really a suite with a couple of bedrooms. The twins and Gia share one big ass bed, and the four other girls share the two double beds in the other room. Crisis averted.

Everyone decides to go out except for Amy, who is passed out in her bed. I can’t tell if she’s tired or drunk, but knowing her history the latter is not a bad guess. The girls get all dolled up, but the guy sitch at the bar is less than desirable, according to Erica. She can’t believe she wasted her short zebra cocktail dress on these scavengers! Demitra and Elease, however, have fun anyway.

As you can imagine, the fact that Demitra and Elease dare to have a good time irritates the twins, Gia, and Erica to no end. Gia declares that they have to use their “little brains” (her words, not mine) to get them to go home.

Morning comes and it’s time for a chartered boat ride! Everyone goes off in a corner to read a book. Erica chooses Tolstoy, the twins recite Shakespeare, Gia examines the poetry of Walt Whitman. Okay, you got me, I’m lying. What they REALLY do is drink! Who knew??? They play Never Have I Ever where we find out that Mimi, Erica, Gia, and one of the twins have all made sex tapes and that Erica has peed on a guy! I swear. After getting wasted, they start sliding down a slide into the lake and they go tubing attached to a power boat. They hook up with another boat. The twins and Erica remain in the master bedroom in their boat while everyone else parties. It’s as if the twins and Erica are incapable of having a good time. I mean, who would want to have fun on a boat??? Let’s just mope around and complain instead!

The girls return to the hotel and start getting ready for another night of, you got it, drinking! At the club, a young lady approaches them and is all, you’re all celebrities! She then also says that Boston’s in Chicago so her word should be taken lightly. I’m impressed, however, because Amy responds that Boston is in Massachusetts. Home girl know geography! There’s hope!

Elease, Amy, and Mimi are having a blast while the grumpy girls pout in the corner. Erica, who I was starting to like, reverts back to her old ways. She remarks that she wants the three girls out because Mimi sleeps all day, Elease is quiet, and Amy is white trash. Diss! However, it’s hard to take someone seriously who drops the name Louis Vuitton while wearing pink pajamas in public. Pot, kettle much?

Erica, the twins, and Gia ditch the other girls at the bar. A little while later Elease, Mimi, and Amy are ready to leave, and they realize they have been abandoned. Ouch! They manage to get back to the hotel where they discover they have been locked out. Demitra goes all Incredible Hulk on us and explodes. She pounds at the door, screams, foams at the mouth. The mean girls remain in the hotel room giggling. Finally hotel management arrives and unlocks the door. The wrath of Mimi continues. Amy finally realizes how messed up the other girls are. It is simply not cool to ditch a lady friend.

The next morning they drive back to Vegas. Elease, Amy, and Mimi go out to get their nails done. Gabi decides to do their laundry while they’re out because she is so considerate. Not! Instead, she rummages through Mimi’s bag and takes out her beloved MARS chain. Erica, Gia, and Dani cackle in excitement. And then, naturally, Gabi drops the necklace on the floor and it breaks. Instead of owning up to it—you know she’s scared—she puts it back in Mimi’s bag and pretends nothing happened.

Well, what a surprise when Mimi discovers the broken necklace a few days later. She knows immediately that it is the twins. She’s furious that she lives with such vandals and thieves. It’s like she needs a safe in her own home! When no one owns up to breaking her chain, she vows revenge. She will destroy the culprit’s stuff! Oh snap! I kind of like vengeful, righteous Mimi!

I wonder what will happen next week when Mimi finds out the truth . . . .

See you in a week!

Liz Out Loud

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