Bad Girls Club 811 Recap: Bad Girl Players

Wow. It finally happened. The twins are gone. Now that Dani and Gabi have left the building, I wonder what will happen. I bet the Bad Girls will all join hands and welcome the two new girls and sing Kumbaya and volunteer at soup kitchens and plant flowers in poor neighborhoods. Not! What I bet they will REALLY do is continue to sleep, eat, and complain! And guess what . . . I am right! Let’s begin, shall we?

The five remaining girls notice that pictures of the two new girls are on the spinny thing. Erica makes fun of them. Elease is excited that there will be new girls. Not that she wants to be nice to them or anything, she just wants someone else to go through the drama that she did. Okay then!

Gia, ever the sneak, stalks DJ Matt over the Internet even though she can’t get on any social networks. She’s like a spy! She discovers that Matt’s been flirting—over Twitter—with some other chick. And that’s when you know you live in the 21st century that such a thing could happen.

Erica, Gia, and Amy go out to eat and randomly meet a guy named Jazzy (for realz) who just HAPPENS to be a music producer. How convenient because Erica wants to be a rapper. A match made in heaven . . . or really hell? Are any of us ready to hear Erica spout rhymes about her red bottoms and pink pajamas? I like to wear bottoms that are red/And throw out my roommate’s bed/I always wear pink pajamas/I want two pet llamas. Nevertheless, Jazzy invites Erica over to record but she has to bring Gia with her because he thinks she’s hot.

Meanwhile, the new Bad Girls Christine (from Nashville) and Camilla (from Long Beach) land in Vegas. They meet up at a bar and of course have some drinks. They’ll fit right in, right??? They seem fun and bubbly and upbeat so . . . probably not.

Back at the house, Elease and Mimi are waiting for the new girls to arrive. Again, they won’t be offering them champagne and strawberries upon their entrance. They need to be initiated. What is this a sorority??? Finally Christine and Camilla show up ready to party with a bottle of bubbly in hand. The other girls are annoyed because, of course, they are lying in bed and why would you want to have fun in Vegas? They act too cool for school but hey, let’s look on the positive side. At least Christine and Camilla haven’t been attacked! They do, however, have to share a bed.

The original five talk sh-- about Christine. They call her a dolphin because she is so eager to please. Hey, at least dolphins are cute! Erica is all, she talks too much, she’s already too comfortable here. I guess Erica didn’t get the memo that the house is just as equally Christine’s as it is hers…seeing as how neither one of them paid for it and it’s just luck that either one of them are living there temporarily. Sigh.

Christine very quickly starts unraveling. She’s a sweet Southern girl who really sees this trip as an extended spring break. She just wants to be liked and she doesn’t understand why the Bad Girls are treating her with disdain. Camilla has a stronger backbone and supports Christine. Amy is also surprisingly kind to her. One morning Christine is on the phone with her sister, crying that she is homesick and misses her boyfriend and that she wants to go home. Amy takes her outside by the pool and tells her to be strong and not to let the other girls see her cry. If they see her cry they will pounce on her because they think it is fun to jump on people who are weaker than they are. Christine decides to stay another night.

The next day Erica, Gia, and Amy go to Jazzy’s studio to record Erica’s rap. This is going to be fun. They listen to a track that Erica recorded at a studio back home. I use the term “studio” loosely, people. Very loosely. Jazzy has to bite his lip so he won’t laugh. Thankfully he doesn’t let the whole song play out. We then meet his friend DJ Nugget. Wow. I wonder if he also has a friend named MC Chicken Tender. Or Master Big Mac.

Gia thinks Jazzy is cute. She must be wearing rose-colored glasses because I don’t see it. Turns out he is pals with her semi-boo Matt so she needs to tread the waters carefully. Erica warns her not to be a homie hopper. Great advice.

That night all the Bad Girls go out. And what a surprise! Matt is there. A very drunk Gia approaches him and is all, you think these hoes are hot? And then she kisses him. Romance, thy name is Gia.

Meanwhile, all hell breaks loose because some random chick starts a fight with the girls in the VIP section. Drinks fly, hair is pulled, punches are thrown. The seven Bad Girls are ejected from the club. But ever the optimists, they look on the bright side. They all had each other’s backs!

The next day, Erica, Gia, and Amy return to Jazzy’s studio. Jazzy puts the full court press on Gia, paying her a compliment that every woman wants to hear: he tells her she has a fat p****. Now, Gia may go out in a bra and panties. She may puke on her roommates, she may even beat up on men who visit her at her house, but this even crosses the line for her. She is disgusted by his disrespect, and so am I. This makes her appreciate Matt all the more, and not just because he has a normal name.

Christine, meanwhile, continues her downward spiral. Though the other girls are being (sort of) nice to her, she still is conflicted. Camilla, her partner in crime, tries to be supportive but she doesn’t want to babysit her. Because she is miserable and doesn’t want to make everyone miserable, Christine finally decides to go home. She knows she’s in over her head.

Now, normal people would give her a hug and help bring her suitcase to the cab. But this is season 8 of the Bad Girls Club and we know that’s not the way they roll. The other girls take Christine’s suitcases and throw them over the balcony. Christine calmly packs all her stuff back up and brings it outside. Erica and company continue their mission of attack. They dump all her belongings out again. Erica mocks her because she has non-brand name TAMPONS. Wow, Erica, since you are so obsessed with brands maybe you should wash your hair sometime. Just a thought. At this point Christine doesn’t even want to get her stuff. She gets in the car and tells the driver to just go to the airport.

But these Bad Girls are not ready to say goodbye just yet. Camilla, who was her biggest supporter, suggests that they jump her. So Camilla, Elease, and Gia rush over to the passenger’s side as Christine is closing the door and grab her hair to pull her out of the car. Gia punches her in the face. Christine begs for them to stop. She is screaming and they just. don’t. care. Stay classy, Bad Girls.

Till next week-

Liz Out Loud

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