Bad Girls Club 902 Recap: Wash, Rinse, Re-beat

Hey kidz! Another week, another episode of El Club de Chicas Males! And not only are they bad, they are also loco! Woohoo!

We begin where we left off: with Rima and Mehgan getting in to a fight because Rima hadn’t showered. Granted, it doesn’t look like any of these girls have showered so she’s in good company. Mehgan's all, You don’t even have a driver’s license. Rima replies that yes, she does, and what the H-E-double hockey sticks does that have to do with anything? And then our little endearing snitch Erika flips out because Mehgan puts her hand in her face. Ahhh, roommates!

Everyone calms down a bit and heads out to the pool. Mehgan makes fun of self-proclaimed ditz Ashley, God bless her heart. Erika observes that Ashley's head is not filled with brains, but rather with Starburst, Skittles, and Fruit Loops. Sounds delicious! Mehgan, ever the mean girl, is all, what’s five times five? And poor dumb Ashley responds, “Ten!” Oh dear.

Tensions continue to simmer between Julie and Christina, with each girl boasting that they’re tough and the first one to fight, blah blah blah. Dude, I’d take Christina's side in a battle anytime. Not even because I like her better, but home girl is from Jersey City which is quite a bit tougher than the suburban Boston town where Julie was spawned.

That night all the girls go out to dinner. Rima calls Mehgan, get this: fake. Imagine a drinking game in which we all took a shot of tequila every time someone called another girl fake? We’d all be stewed before the first commercial break! Anyway, Mehgan and Rima don’t like each other, so they decide to call a truce so they won’t go all nuclear war on each other. But the meal needs more drama, so Christina gets all in Falen's face, sitting in her lap and goading her. Falen does not take the bait. Good girl!

After dinner, the girls all go to a classy establishment called Baja Junkie. Rima, Ashley, and Erika get on the bar and dance. Rima takes off her pants. The remaining chicks give them the side eye, but their outfits leave a questionable taste in my mouth so I don’t think they have any right to judge!

The next day Rima calls her son Ishmael. Wait . . . Rima has a kid??? He’s adorable and sweet and Rima really misses him. While I’m sympathetic to her plight, bish signed up for this! She didn’t have to go on the Bad Girls Club! I mean, it’s not like she’s a soldier getting shipped off to Iraq. Nope, she took a flight to Mexico to take off her clothes, make out with girls, and drink lots of booze. What a sacrifice! Ashley is a kinder person than I am, and she decides to take Rima to the beach to make her feel better. Surprisingly, Rima keeps her bathing suit on.

After a day frolicking in the sun, everyone is back at the house preparing to go out yet again. Mehgan talks about her $700 extensions and then asks Ashley if HERS were expensive. Well, considering Ashley's hair looks more synthetic than my Barbie’s from 1987, I’d say no.

Rima and a sick Erika elect to stay home where they write all over Mehgan’s picture because she is, as we all know, “fake.” Meanwhile, at the club, Julie and Christina continue their feud. When it’s time to pay the bill Jersey doesn’t have enough money. That’s no surprise to Julie. They get in the limo and Christina pretends to be asleep and Julie talks trash. Then Christina wakes up from her fake nap and confronts Julie who denies it, of course.

When they arrive back at the house, Mehgan is horrified to see that her picture has been vandalized. She again asserts that her hair cost $700. (As if anyone cares.) Rima and Mehgan start fighting, again. Rima runs to the fridge and grabs a bottle of cranberry juice which she proceeds to pour all over Mehgan. Erika is furious . . . she had plans for that cranberry juice!

Mehgan responds by throwing all of Rima's clothes in the pool. And then Christina and Julie go at it! I am getting dizzy just watching all these fights! Christina grabs a chunk of Julie's hair (extensions, natch) and lights it on the stove burner. Then Rima takes all of Mehgan's stuff and throws it in the pool AND over the wall into the neighbor’s yard. Free clothes!

Rima and Erika call a house meeting to vote Mehgan out of the house, Survivor-style. The vote is tied. Rima, Erika, and Christina want Mehgan out. Julie, Falen, and Ashley want her to stay. Rima feels like poor dumb Ashley stabbed her in the back. Sweetheart, I don’t think Ashley even knows how to use a knife.

So there you have it! Just a few classy broads having a good time!

Yours in crime—

Liz Out Loud

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