Bienvenidos to the Casa de las chicas muy drunkas! My Spanish is not so good so I am guessing that’s how you say drunk in español, but I’m probably wrong. But hey, at least I know five times five is 25, unlike our girl Ashley!
So, last week the Bad Girls voted to let Mehgan stay in the house against Rima’s wishes. So now the house is divided between two groups: Erika, Christina/Jersey, Rima, and Ashley/Budget Barbie versus the PABs (Punk Ass B*tches, duh) who are Falen, Julie, and Mehgan.
The non-PABs, because it all of about 10 in the morning, decide to take body shots because, well why not? A very drunk Rima approaches Mehgan and Julie by the pool and confesses that although she LOOKS classy sometimes she’s trashy. Well, good thing she cleared THAT up. I thought she was going to be the next First Lady, the way she takes her pants off at the club. She’s eight sheets to the wind but she does seem ready to put the drama behind her and get along with the PABs. She’s not Erika’s puppet after all!
Erika and Jersey meanwhile are suspicious of Rima’s actions. They don’t want her to go over to the other side. Which makes me wonder, why the hell not? Wouldn’t it be EASIER if everyone got along? Put it this way . . . it would leave more booze for you to drink because then you wouldn’t have to throw it at each other!
The PABs go to the confessionado where Julie reveals that she thinks Erika is brainwashing Rima against them. Jersey eavesdrops, and then she and Julie start fighting when the PABs exit, because acting like adults is for wimps!
Then Sometimes Trashy Rima pukes in the bathroom. I think it’s about 11am at this point. I’m not worried though because she can just sleep it off and be ready to party again at 5! Sure enough, she passes out.
The next day Rima still seems wasted, so it’s a super smart idea for her to join Erika, Budget Barbie, and Jersey to get tattoos. But first they stop at a restaurant where, wait for it, the waiter also happens to be a priest! How convenient because Rima needs an exorcism to get the Devil she calls Charlie out of her. He appears when she’s drinking, which is basically every moment.
While they are getting their tats, Falen, Julie, and Mehgan get their nails done. Rima is not the only diabolical girl in the house, apparently, because Julie and Mehgan plot to be super sweet to the non-PABs faces, and then stab them in the back at a later point. Why you ask? Who knows. Apparently reason is not their strong point.
That night all the girls go out together except for Erika who is sick. Julie pretends to apologize to Christina, insisting that they put their past behind them and get along from this point forward. Julie is such a third grader, I bet she even has her fingers crossed behind her back. Christina accepts the apology, and everything seems (fake) good. And drunk.
The next morning Erika wakes up all the girls who are extremely hung over, because she has organized a tequila tasting. Because really, why sober up? The girls are almost ready to go before Erika reminds them that it is a “powder in the pooch” day. Which apparently means that it’s so hot out that they need to apply powder to their hooha regions before leaving the house? I kid you not. She should really have an advice column, these are the kinds of gems us ladies need to know!
Everyone is getting along at the tequila tasting, perhaps because they are sauced. Julie says to the host, “Te amo” as she leaves and I’m thinking, “Isn’t it a little presumptuous for her to use the familiar tu form?” But I digress…
Before we know it, it’s the weekend, which also happens to coincide with Mehgan’s 22nd birthday! Rima and Ashley invite themselves to join the PABs for a spa day. Erika and Christina are livid. How dare Rima go to the other side? As for Ashley, I don’t think they care.
That night everyone goes to a lingerie party which will finally provide the girls with the appropriate venue to wear their favorite attire. Even though everyone is for the most part getting along, Julie chooses that moment to stir the pot. She tells Erika that Rima said Erika was brainwashing her against the PABs (while Rima was drunk, mind you). Erika is furious but just stews on it for the evening.
The next morning, however, Erika confronts Rima. Rima denies it, saying that she was so wasted that day that she doesn’t remember anything she said. Give the girl a break! She was passed out by lunchtime! I have to give Rima credit. She tries to be the bigger person and walks away, but Erika gets all up in her face.
And then the episode ends! What a cliffhanger!
Till next time—
Liz Out Loud