Summer time is here, and I like to think of happy things like beaches, cute boys, and tropical drinks! And because it’s so hot out, I enjoy catching up on all my shows in my (semi) comfortable air-conditioned apartment. So you can imagine my utter JOY that Bad Girls Club is returning, and in Mexico no less! Caliente! These crazy bitches like tropical drinks too! Lots and lots of tropical drinks!
Let’s talk about the first episode, shall we?
We begin by meeting the very sweet and classy new girls. Mehgan arrives at the house first. Yup, that’s how she spells it. Mehg is a 21-year-old self-described pretty girl from Houston. But don’t get it twisted: just because she’s gorgeous that doesn’t mean she can’t take care of herself. She paid for her own boobs, thankyouverymuch.
Then Julie makes her grand entrance. This Devious Diva says she’s from Boston. Bish, please. You ain’t from Boston. You from the burbs of Beantown just like me! I can smell out a girl whose parents bought her her first car!
Elsewhere, Falen and Rima meet on the streets of Cabo before heading to the casa. Falen is Eritrean but grew up in Springfield, MA, where she is a socialite. As Springfield IS the home to the Basketball Hall of Fame AND Peter Pan Bus Lines, I can see why she is bragging about this. I guess she gets preferred seating on the bus rides to Boston. Toot toot!
Rima hails from Chicago but is of Algerian descent, so she and Falen can speak a bit of Arabic to each other. Yeah! Like Falen, Rima is a very important person in her town. She does NOT wait in lines at the club, no matter what she has to do. (And I mean, no matter what.)
Next there’s Ashley, a bleached and extensioned blonde from a suburb of Chicago. Yeah for geographic diversity! Ash is proud of being ditzy and not classy. Hey, you got to begin somewhere. Girl is down for a good time, so it’s a’ight. She meets up with Christina from Jersey City and they take shots! Xtina seems cool enough; she even says she doesn’t open up her legs for just anybody. (Her words, not mine.)
Rima and Falen head to the house where they meet Mehgan and Julie. Mehgan jokes that they better all be nice to her, because she’s got Obama on speed dial! Hey, I’ll be nice to her because she knows who the prezzy is. That is QUITE the accomplishment among bad girls.
Now that everyone is finally here, they sit around, drink, and do more judging. They call a house meeting and talk about why they are bad girls. Ashley likes to get drunk and run around naked, Rima says she’s psycho, and Christina boasts that she’s not intimidated by anyone. Okay then. They’re all bad!
Night falls and it’s time to go out! Ashley, ever the good time girl, trips over her platform shoes. So far everyone is getting along. Let’s see how long this lasts!
Well, not long, of course. A bunch of the girls, including Julie, decide they don’t like Jersey aka Christina, so they head to another outdoor club. But they all end up at the same place anyway. Whatevs. Rima starts dancing on stage and pulls up her dress to reveal her bountiful booty. Mehgan clutches her pearls. Rima, according to Mehgan, is a “slore” (slut + whore) AND she’s showing her ass for free! How COULD she???
Julie is embarrassed by Rima and company. Sweetheart, you DO know you signed up for the Bad Girls Club, right??? Stripping is par for the course here! Anyway, she leaves with Falen and Mehgan and they hang out by the curb smoking ciggies. Julie starts talking about how fake Christina is. Jersey overhears her, so she confronts Julie. They get up all in each other’s face and before you know it they are fighting! What a surprise! They eventually call a truce after Ashley flips out. Why can’t everyone just get along??? (Her question, not mine. I’m all for the BGC dramz.)
Finally, it’s time to go home. Rima realized that Erika is passed out in the club, so they have to carry her to the limo. All for one, one for all. When they get home, Erika remains passed out in the limo, so Rima carries her into the house. Falen and Mehgan decide that they should give her a Happy Face Spicy Makeover, so they decorate her arms and face with toothpaste, toilet paper, and hot sauce. Home girl doesn’t even stir! Meanwhile, Ashley and Rima make out in the pool because why not?
Daylight comes, and at last Erika wakes up. She freaks out and immediately blames Mehgan, who of course denies it. Finally Erika cracks up, they all laugh, and E pledges revenge. She can appreciate a good prank after all. Phew!
Later that day, Rima decides to go into the Jacuzzi. Mehgan is disgusted because Rima hasn’t taken a shower yet. So Erika, who was eavesdropping, runs and tells Rima what Mehgan said. I gotta hand it to Erika. She admits straight up that she’s a sh*t stirrer. She makes me giggle. At any rate, Rima gets out of the Jacuzzi and confronts Mehgan and before you know it we have another fight!
And then the episode is over. I guess we have to wait till next week to see what happens. I have to admit, I am digging these girls. They seem all peace and rainbows and unicorns after last season’s girls. Granted, drunk peace and rainbows and unicorns, but I’ll take what I can get.
Liz Out Loud