Love Games 305 Recap

Sydney tries to keep her raging jealousy in check.Welcome to the New Year people. I hope your new years eve was more exciting than mine. No kiss for me, unless you count a Hershey Kiss from my dad. Liz Out Loud, he said as he passed me a flute of champagne and a mini chocolate wrapped in foil, I think you will find love in 2012. Thanks for the vote of confidence Dad Out Loud!

Sure, it would be nice to have someone next to me watching American Horror Story while massaging my feet and reading me romantic poetry, but sometimes being single is preferable to ye olde ball and chain. Not that I think relationships are prison--but after watching the latest episode of Loves Games I DO think they can be just a wee bit dangerous. Lets go on, shall we?

The episode opens up with Sydney and Robby hanging out at the pool. The ever observant Robby remarks that he has Nikes that are the same color as Sydneys blue press on nails. How cute. We all know that couples who coordinate their nails and sneaks to match stay together.

We then visit Team Kori. She is recruiting her troops, with crazy-haired Joey as her #1 soldier and Chris and Nick as her pawns. But they have clearly fallen under her spell as they apply fake eyelashes because, well, just because. Maybe they want to be drag queens.

Sydney tries to do some damage control with Judi. She wants to get Judi on her side, but she also wants to make it clear that John The Player is hers. It is so nice when Sydney is not screaming and she is acting like an actual grownup. Will it last? Judi just kind of nods her head but she knows it could all change at any moment. She is wary of Sydney. And so is Kori, who walks in on Sydney and Judi talking. Uh oh!

Tanisha gathers all the guys and girls around to announce the next HBIC challenge. Its a runway challenge, where the girls will have to dress up themselves and their guys and compete in a, er, trashy fashion show of sorts. The twist? The guys exes will be the judges. Uh oh! If I were to give a weather forecast, Id tell you that a typhoon was about to hit the city of Los Angeles, and that typhoon would be named Typhoon Sydney. This is totally just a guess based on previous appearances by Tornado Sydney (when she accused John of kissing Judi), Earthquake Sydney (when she broke bottles after John wouldnt spend the night with her), and Tsunami Sydney (when Judi stepped on glass from the vase Syd broke).

We are introduced to all the exes. They are all actually pretty mellow and nice. Joey brags that his former flame Alex is obviously hot. Obviously I would have a hot ex, and the best part was shes like a very short term ex. Hmmm, what does that mean? I never thought the boys of Love Games would stump me intellectually, but they have managed to do the impossible! Kori, however, is not worried because she has a way more banging body. So modest, that Kori is.

Next is Johns ex Fiama. Sydney starts talking trash immediately. Uh oh, the typhoon is gaining speed. Sydneys all, Im ready for some whup ass, watch out biatch! And Im all, why do you care Sydney??? Shes an EX. Dont waste your breath fighting her!

The girls pick teams. Judi chooses Edson, Nick, and Joey. Kori selects Robby, Chris, and Matthew. Sydney picks Jonathan and John. The exes leave while the contenders get ready for the trashy fashion show. Typhoon Sydney gathers more power as she taunts the exes. John remarks that her negative behavior will affect the judging.

After some time spent primping and prepping, its time for the fashion show. Judis team goes first, and she just wants to make everyone laugh. Nick struts like a wet blanket, but Edson and Judi have more fun. Joeys ex Alex mentions that she liked the performance but wished Joeys hair could have been bigger.

Koris team is next. Chris, Robby, and Matthew are a little too good at this if you know what I mean. It wouldnt surprise me if they all have interned at Chippendales in Vegas. As they finish, Kori proclaims that shes Botox Barbie, b*tches! And I think to myself, why would you brag about being a Botox Barbie when youre only in your 20s? I would think you would want to hide the fact that you use Botox when you are so young. But thats me. Again, the exes are very sweet when they are judging. They like the fact that Kori was having fun.

Now its time for the final team to strut the runway, Team Sydney! There is a bit of booty shaking or quaking going on, I dont know what the kids call it these days. Despite Sydneys super bad attitude earlier, the exes judge her fairly and Fiama even compliments her strong personality.

The exes score the performances. Sydney gets a 45, Judi a 51, and Kori wins it all with a 61. Kori is the new HBIC! Score! Its time for her to pick dates for everyone. She chooses Robby for herself, Chris for Sydney, and Matthew for Judi.

Tanisha announces that the guys must leave so that the girls can spend some time with the exes in order to gather dirt. While Sydney grows jealous, Judi and Kori have fun bonding with the exes. Judi even calls them her big sisters. How cute!

After they bond, its time for the girls to meet the guys and their exes as couples, and Judi, Sydney, and Kori will have the chance to interrogate them. Jonathan and his ex Dominique are up first. Sydney asks him if hed rather get back with his ex than get with her. He replies that right now, yes. In his talking head he explains, All Sydney has to offer is the cakes, he remarks as he simulates squeezing her ass. Thats it. A big booty. Nothing else to offer. Some cakes and a headache. Now--I have heard my ass referred to as many words, including tush, behind, trunk, etc. But cakes? Well, I do have a sweet tooth!

As we meet each couple, we learn many things. Chris might be a cheater. Matthew has had at least ten one night stands this year. Nick might also be a cheater. Joey parties too much. Robby is a liar. All fun stuff that is good to know! And then its time for the ultimate standoff--John and Fiama versus Sydney. Sydney is obviously very worked up but is trying to keep her raging jealousy in check. At one point she leaves the room to calm her nerves. She finally breathes when John confessed that hed rather be with Sydney than with his ex, as long as Sydney stops exploding.

The interrogations are over. The girls all pick their second dates: Edson goes with Kori, John joins Sydney, and Jonathan is chosen by Judi. Awww, only Nick and Joey are left. (Sad face.)

The girls and guys leave for their date at a Japanese restaurant. Sydney is in a good mood. She admits to her dates that shes a crazy b*tch with a huge heart. Well, at least she has one degree of self-awareness. The dates all mingle with each other. Chris, one of Koris pawns, now tells Sydney that he wants to join Team Sydney. Oh snap, hes a double agent! We truly need a good spy in Love Games. Jonathan confesses that he is feeling both Judi and Kori. Kori opens her gift that she receives as the HBIC. It is a pair of earrings. Everyone is happy.

The girls and their dates return to the house. Tanisha informs Kori that she needs to start thinking who she is going to put up for elimination. She decides on Jonathan, Edson, and Robby.

Wow, how time flies. It is time for elimination. The guys plead their cases. Jonathan is real and genuine. Robby says he needs to get to know Kori better. Edson tells the girls that he vibes with all of them. These men and their adjectives! I actually like all these guys. There is no Lil P for me to hate. Sydney and Judi both want Edson to stay, so hes safe. Its down to the final two, Jonathan and Robby. Judi wants Jonathan to stay and Sydney wants Robby to stay. Uh oh. The HBIC must intervene. Kori decides to send Robby home. Naturally, Sydney is pissed.

So there we have it. Were down to the final seven guys. I would say Lucky Seven but we deal with a lot of natural disasters in the form of Sydney so who knows how lucky they are.

Till next time--
Liz Out Loud
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