Love Games 306 Recap

Brrrrr. It is winter in New York (and elsewhere, I imagine) and Liz Out Loud is COLD Out Loud. Since it is quite the challenge to spend time outside, it just means there is more time to watch TV. Yayyyyyy! That is the one saving grace of living in a city that feels like the North Pole come January.Anywaythe girls of Love Games arent feeling the arctic temperatures because 1) they are in LA, 2) this show is not taped live, and 3) they are so hot and fiery! Lets talk about the latest episode, shall we?The show opens up with the guys primping. I am shockedSHOCKEDat the amount of hairspray that looks-like-he-put-his-finger-in-the-electrical-outlet-and-it-electrocuted-his-hair Joey uses. I dare say he spends more time getting ready that the self-proclaimed Botox Barbie aka Kori. Not only is Joey a funny guy, hes also a high maintenance one!Judi goes down to say hello to the guys who are hanging out in the kitchen. John is shirtless, which might be kind of hot but he has this giant tattoo across his upper chest. I keep pressing pause to figure out what the heck it says. It kind of looks like a necklace, or it could be a word. Braveheart, maybe? Or perhaps it is a secret code that means Get me out of this crazy house with Tsunami Sydney? I have no idea. Judi then explains to us math, Love Games style: She has 3.5 guys on her team (Matthew, Jonathan, maybe Edson, and maybe half of John) while Kori has 3 (Joey, Nick, and Chris). In my world 3.5 is greater than 3 so I think Judi is okay. More talk from the girls and guys who is team who, blah blah blah. You know its going to change in three minutes so its no use writing it down.Tanisha gathers Kori, Sydney, and Judi around to inform them of what the next HBIC challenge is. The guys are going to go shopping for them! Each guy can only buy a gift for one girl, and the winner is determined by the total dollar value of the gifts bought for them. The twist? The guys wont know that this is a challenge, and the girls cant tell them or else they will be disqualified. Tanisha sets the girls free to mingle with the guys without telling them what the challenge is yet. Kori goes all Miss America on us so that the guys wont think shes a gold digger. Shes all, my dogs are my life! I dont care about stuff! Riiiight. We next see Sydney mounting John, as all grown ass women do, as she baby talks to him. You like me, right? John grunts yes. I think. Sydney continues, You want to buy me nice things? Grunt again. Nice, subtle approach there Sydney.Judi takes a way more direct route. She tells her guys exactly what she needs to bring back to Chicago, which includes earrings, purses, and belly rings with dangly rhinestones. Edson agrees that belly rings with dangly rhinestones are awesome.Finally Tanisha announces to the guys that they will go shopping for the girls, but she still doesnt tell them that it is part of the challenge. She also notifies them that they will have to spend their own money. Their mouths drop. Big surprise there. Matthew doesnt mind because, you know, hes an adult. Im independent so Im used to doing that anyway. Its a sad state affair for men and the women who want to date them when it is considered admirable when you can actually buy your own stuff. Tanisha brings the guys, sans the ladies, to XIV Carats (please, like the guys know Roman numerals), which the saleswoman proceeds to tell us is the premiere jewelry destination in Beverly Hills. I cant really see Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry shopping here, but okay. Ill take your word for it. Tanisha tells us that you can find items that cost anywhere from $50 to millions. You can hear the guys think that $25 would be more along their budget, especially Edson, who reflects that everything is nice except the prices since it is coming out of their own pockets. Deep thoughts.The guys are let loose. We see them looking at rings and necklaces and earrings. Chris purchases an $800 necklace. Matthew buys something but I cant tell what. Jonathan says he doesnt mind dropping dough AS LONG AS he gets a booty squeeze out of it. Not sure if it would be for him or for one of the girls (Our second deep thought of the day). Ching ching, ching ching. They all buy stuff. I think.Back at the house Tanisha FINALLY tells the guys what the challenge is. So the HBIC will be determined by the value of the gifts that is given to her by the guys.Edson goes first. He gives Judiwait for ita belly ring. John is next. He hands Sydney THREE boxes which hold a diamond necklace, a set of matching red earrings and a ring. Sydney loves it (phew). We go to Chris, who announces that the $800 necklace he bought is actually for his Nana. In his talking head he explains, Im not a materialistic kind of guy so Im not gonna buy sh for a girl that I just met. He DOES know that sh is free, right? You dont have to actually buy it. Kori is disappointed because she thought that Chris was definitely on her team. Jonathan/Freaky JP gives Judy a watch. Nick, another dedicated member of Team Kori, informs everyone that he didnt buy a gift for anyone because, in his own words, you dont buy a friends girl jewelry. His friend in this case is Joey. Now, normally I would agree with him but because this is the Love Games I just think he is being cheap. Hehe.Matthew buys Judi earrings and a ring. He tells her to never stop shining like them. Ah, sweet. Joey gives the final gift to, you guessed it, Sydney! Haha just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Joey gives Kori a pear-shaped pink ring and matching earrings.Now its time for the totals to be revealed. 2nd runner up is Sydney with $621. 1st runner up is Kori with $1088. The new HBIC is Judi, with a grand total of $1407. Not bad Judi, though both Kori and Sydney had a higher average per gift. But whatevs, Judis my girl and Im happy she won!Now its time for Judi to assign dates for everyone. She picks Matthew for herself, John for Sydney, and Joey for Kori. Kori, who earlier had tried to paint herself as the patron saint of pet dogs, reveals her gold digging ways in her talking head. Chris decided to buy his Nana a gift and that just warms my heart, she says with a face that looks like she has been sucking on lemons sprinkled with cayenne pepper, But I would have won HBIC if Chris wouldve bought me something small. Like a belly ring with dangly rhinestones, perhaps?The girls pick their second dates: Nick for Judi, Chris for Sydney, and Edson for Kori. And where will this date be, you ask? Would you be surprised if I said at a lingerie store that would be closed to the public so that the bad girls could shop and eat? Yes? Because thats exactly where everyone is going, except for our boy Freaky JP!Kori is so excited about this date because she works for Playboy and this is right up her alley. Of course. Judi has some reservations, which is completely normal. There are a few other things Id rather do on a first date than wear sexy lingerie, like Bungee jumping, skydiving, or take off on a rocket ship never to be seen again. Sydney eyes a lacy black teddy. John, always the gentleman, remarks that hed f--- with that. He follows her into the dressing room while she tries it on. Kori tries on bras and panties galore. Is it any surprise she has a tramp stamp? All the guys watch as she whines that she needs an extra large top for her extra large boobs. Joey makes a really clever joke about one of his body parts setting up camp, like when you set up a tent and you need to put the pole up first. And by clever I mean gross. I am so sorry for that imagery. Judi feels insecure as Kori prances around. And I dont blame her. Matthew pulls her aside and assures her that he doesnt even like chests, hes an ass man! Glad we made that clear! Its time for dinner. Judi apologizes to her other date Nick for freaking out. He is totally cool with it and can understand why she felt uncomfortable. Despite the fact that hes been Team Kori, I could see Nick moving over to Team Judi, at least as a friend.Kori continues to dazzle her audience. I love exposing my body and getting naked, she reflects. Thats great, Kori, because moms love their sons to bring home girls who love exposing their bodies and getting naked!The date ends and everyone returns to the house, except for Freaky JP because he is already there! Judi needs to choose who she should put up for elimination. Matthew, her number one guy, pulls her aside to tell her who she should pick: Chris, Joey, and John. She hears him out but its ultimately her decision so she talks to the other guys to see where theyre at. Edson is still Team Judi, so he stays. Chris is wishy washy so she picks him to be one of the three up for elimination. She also selects Nick, which surprises him since he was so supportive of her on the date. Judi then approaches John.Now, at this point I totally think shes going to pick him to go up for elimination. Hes been playing both sides of the fence the entire time. Judi asks him what team he would be on if Sydney were to go home next week. He replies, The winning team . . . whoever I think is going to win. Hes like a politician with that answer! Judi spares him and instead chooses Joey to be up for elimination. NaturallyKori is furious as three of her guys are up for elimination. Joey is also panicked. But only time will tell what happens!At the elimination, each guy pleads his case. Kori starts tearing up, proving she actually does have a heart, when Joey states that hes loyal. She bolts from the couch and Tanisha reins her back in. Nick then proclaims that hes made a connection with Judi as a dear friend. So sweet. And then Chris pulls the rug out from under our feethe announces that hes ready to go home. NowTanisha cant have that. This game belongs to the girls and the guys cannot be calling the shots. Chris agrees to let them decide who is eliminated. In the end, though, Judi, Sydney, and Kori all agree that Chris should go home because why would you want a guy who obviously doesnt want you? Hed rather buy presents for his Nana!Im a bit surprised by this shocking turn of events. I thought for sure Judi would eliminate Joey. Im also very proud that Sydney was so well-behaved this episode. I dont think she said a single f--- you! Good girl Sydney!Im giddy with anticipation for next weeks episode. Another guy AND a girl will be sent home! Who do you think it will be?Yours in crimeLiz Out Loud
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