Love Games 307 Recap

Remember when you were a kid and you had a crush on a boy, lets just say his name was Steve. And youd write secret poems and dream about the children you would have together (Stephanie and Steve Junior) and the cool house youd live in and the nice car youd drive. Oh this little thing, Id say as my friend pointed to the giant rock on my finger. Steve bought it with his bonus. It was his smallest one in years, just ten million dollars! And then, real life would happen and youd grow up and find yourself living in a little apartment with cracks in the walls and Lean Cuisines in the freezer, which you used coupons to buy. But the memory of Steve would live on in your mind and in the pages of your middle school diary. Someday, you say to yourself, I will find someone to love me the way that I pretended my fantasy husband Steve loved me!And thats how I imagine Judi, Kori, and Sydney must feel. They just want to find that fantasy love that they probably dreamed about back in the day! And what more authentic way to chase it than on a reality show! Oh yes, my pretties, it is time to review the latest episode of Love Games.The episode begins in the usual fashion with the girls all trying to figure out who is on their side. Tanisha gathers everyone together and announces that it is time for the HBIC challenge . . . and by the way one of the girls will be going home. Eek! And then she brings in a very special guest, the always demure and classy Natalie Nunn from Bad Girls Club Season 4 and Love Games Season 2! Natalie is wearing a very tasteful outfit: a tight, frilly, short pink skirt; a leopard print bra; and a see through black tank top. Tanisha explains the challenge. She and Natalie are going to put the girls through a series of dares. There will be two guys on each girls team. If they turn down a dare, they lose a guy. The last one standing wins. Kori picks Joey and JP, Sydney chooses John and Edson, and Judi selects Matthew and Nick. Let the games begin!The first dare: Natalie gets to choose a guy from each team to make out with for 30 seconds. Judi accepts the challenge, saying that she wishes SHE could kiss Natalie. Natalie picks Nick. They start smooching, and its sloppy, like they are in sixth grade and stuck in each others braces. I expect more from them. Koris up next and she too is all, bring it on Natalie. Natalie picks Joey. They start making out. Kori is so not worried because Joeys mouth says yes but his body says no. Its Sydneys turn. She also accepts the challenge but then she looks like her puppy was kidnapped when Natalie chooses John. Sydney turns her chair around while Natalie and John start going at it. Now, I know this is the Love Games show and integrity and fidelity are not exactly central themes here, but I actually feel bad for Sydney. John wants to kiss Natalie, and thats that. He also grabs her ass. A heartbroken Sydney runs out of the room. Mother hen Tanisha goes after her and urges her to continue. Syd agrees.Okay, round one of the game is over. Now its time for round two. The dare? Give Natalie one of the presents you got from one of the guys last week. Judi and Kori agree immediately, probably because they know they could find more valuable jewelry in one of those machines that they have in grocery stores which dispense bouncy balls and plastic rings. Judi donates her belly ring from Edson, and Kori passes on her earrings from Joey. Sydney declines the challenge, insisting on holding on to those, er, diamonds she got from John last week . . . if by diamonds we mean cubic zirconium. Hehe. As a result, she loses one of her guys, Edson.The final challenge is announced: get a tattoo of one of the guys initials on your body. Oh, this is a GREAT idea. And what a surprise that all three Bad Girls accept. Color me shocked. Kori goes first. She asks the tattoo artistnamed Liz by the way! Just like me!to ink Joeys initials on her heel, where no one can see it. And Im thinking, thats a brilliant idea in this sitch. If a pirate ever holds me captive, and he says that the only way hell not make me walk by the plank is if I get a tattoo of a skull and crossbones, Im putting it on my heel too! Sydneys up. This girl has a cupcake and an ice cream cone tattooed on her arm, so I dont think shell be too picky where she puts Johns initials. She chooses her shoulder. In his talking head, John observes, When you tattoo somebodys names or initials on your body, boom, right then and there, its not going to work. For once I agree with John. I call it the Wino Forever effect. Many of you, my dedicated readers, are probably too young to remember this, but years ago our beloved Johnny Depp was engaged to the pixie Winona Ryder (this was before her shoplifting days). He tattooed Winona Forever on his arm and shortly after they broke up and he had altered to say Wino Forever. Because, really, who does not want wino forever? But I digress. Back to work. Judi is last and she gets Matthews initials tattooed on her belly. Gotta accentuate the area somehow now that she no longer has Edsons belly ring!At this point in the game it is tied between Kori and Judi, so Tanisha announces a tiebreaker round: the girls have to weigh themselves on national tv and the guys on their team have to guess their weight. Whoevers guess is closer wins. Its like an awful cross between sorority rush and the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right. If the guys go over do they automatically lose? Anywayboth girls accept the final dare. Kori is so not afraid because she is hot, petite, and not fat like Judi. Way to be progressive and support your fellow women, Kori! She hops on the scaleshe weighs on at 113.8 lbs. Judis turnshe weighs an even 133 lbs. Not fat at all!!! I would put more exclamation points to emphasize this but I think that might be overkill. The guys reveal their guesses: Koris team thought she weighed 110.3 for a difference of 3.5 lbs, and Judis guys thought she weighed 132 for a difference of just one pound. Judi wins and is the new HBIC. Yeah!!!As the HBIC, Judi picks Nick for her date, Matthew for Kori, and Jonathan for Sydney. Judi mixed it up quite a bit! Sydney gets all righteous and refuses to go on the date. She is going to be loyal to John. I want to roll my eyes. He only cares about winning, Sydney! You deserve more! John approaches her and asks her to go on the date with Jonathan. For him. Ugh, John is so insufferable. Sydney agrees to go on the date with Jonathan to show that shes the bigger person. And then last minute she changes her mind and ends up staying at the house hidden away from the guys. She doesnt tell anyone though. Sounds like a recipe for disaster!Judi, Kori, Nick, Matthew, and Jonathan depart for their date which is on the beach. Judi and Nick wander off to a fire pit where they make Smores. So romantic. They look more like buddies than potential lovers. Meanwhile, back at the house John selflessly offers to give Natalie a tour of the house. He has no idea that Sydney is home. He starts making out with Natalie by the pool. Sydney witnesses this through the bathroom window and throws an object that breaks. Never thought Id see that happen. She goes outside to spy on them further. She breaks down and sobs in front of Tanisha. Its kind of sad, actually. I mean, she just got his initials tattooed on her shoulder!John says goodbye to Natalie. Joey is upset by Johns actions because he cares about Sydney as a friend and John is taking a dump all over her emotions. Im actually proud of Joey. It shows that beyond all the trash talking, all the posturing, all the snark (eek, I plead guilty!) these people have real feelings and they do care for and like each other.Tanisha reprimands John on how he treated Sydney. He apologizes to Sydney but then just walks away. Sydney continues to cry but shes not violent. A good sign.Judi and Kori return to the house and reunite with Sydney. Judi is not at all surprised by John making out with Natalie because he is a dog. Except dogs are cute and cuddly. I think hes more like a porcupine. Prickly and a rodent.Tanisha gathers everyone together because it is time for the guys to send one of the girls home. At this point I really hope it is Sydney. And not because I dont like her, but rather because shes so fragile and emotional and I think its the only way shell stay away from John. In a giant role reversal, the girls plead their cases to the guys. Judi says she has grown and matured. Kori declares that shes real on the inside and fake only on the outside. Not sure if that is much a selling point, but okay. Syd proclaims that shes not a manipulator.The girls leave the room as the guys deliberate. Joey wants to send Judi home because thats the best move for him strategically. Edson and Nick both agree that Sydneys time should be up. Matthew whines that Kori never got to know him so she should go. Joey points out that John only cares about winning and not Sydney to which John replies, Can it. Oh, snap! Its on!Tanisha brings the girls back in. John volunteers to speak on the guys behalf. He announces that Sydney has been voted off the island. John and I agree that this is best for Syd since shes got to get it together. John says this hurts him. Ugh, liar! Pants on fire liar! You dont care about Sydney!Kori and Judi barely have time to say goodbye to Sydney when Tanisha reveals that the flip has been switched yet again and it is time for Judi to nominate three guys for elimination. Kori will make the final decision about who will actually go home. Naturally, Judi picks all of Team Kori: Joey, Nick and Jonathan. I am riveted! Im also disappointed that she didnt choose John, but whatevs. Edson is also surprised: Her voodoos not working is the only explanation he can come up with.Poor Kori. Its like making her pick her favorite body part that she has altered by plastic surgery. She saves Joey first. Now its down to Jonathan and Nick. She ultimately decides to eliminate Jonathan Freaky JP. Man, Im bummed. He was my favorite.And now there are only two girls and five guys remaining. John is determined to emerge the victor. Now that Sydney is gone he can concentrate on the game: Im eating everything that comes in my path. Quick, put cow manure out there so he will eat it!Now only one episode is left. Who will win? Will Botox Barbie run off into the sunset with Joey? Will the Voodoo Queen Judi end up with Matthew? Or will John, Nick, and Edson change the game and sweep the girls off their feet?Till next weekLiz Out Loud

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Natalie Nunn

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