My oh my. We’ve come to the end. Just weeks ago we started with fourteen hotties and three Bad Girls. And after the departure of Dani and southern belle Taylor last week, we are down to five men and two ladies. Who will find love win???
Well, no one is sure! The only two people who seem firmly on a team are Tyrone (Team Cami) and Casey (Team Amy). The rest of the guys: Shane, Joey, and Andre, are playing both sides, though Joey and his hair are leaning towards Amy.
Tanisha sweeps into the room to announce that two guys will be going home later that day. The men will now have the opportunity to bond with the girls for a bit before elimination time. A typical conversation goes like this: “Amy/Camilla, you know where I am, you know I feel. I don’t even have to say it.” Amy/Camilla reply: “You’re so right! I’ll totally save you!” And then in their talking heads they’re all, “I don’t trust them!”
But uh oh, it’s elimination time. Each girl will get to save one guy and send one home. Quick, let’s make our predictions. I think that Andre and Casey will end up getting the boot. Okay, back to the show. The men plead their cases, it goes like this, “Amy/Camilla, we’ve had a chance to bond, we’ve gotten to know each other, what we have is real.” Snooze.
Camilla goes first and saves Tyrone. No surprise there. Amy then saves… not Casey Cartel! She saves Joey! The camera flashes to Casey. He looks like his grandmother just ran over his puppy dog in her car. At this point I know he’s done. Camilla knows he’s Team Amy while the other two (Shane and Andre) are shifty.
And what do you know, Camilla eliminates Casey! I knew it! And then Amy then sends Andre packing as she has a better chance with Shane. I am a regular old soothsayer.
So now there are three. Tanisha reveals they are going on a vacation to San Diego, which is about a two hour drive from LA (I Google mapped it.) They load into a van and hit the road. Fancy!
As soon as they get settled, Tanisha announces that there will be an HBIC Challenge… The Newlywed Game! No, don’t worry, no one is married yet, they’re just borrowing the format. Phew. During the five-round game, we learn such important factoids about these gems of men including: Joey takes fifteen minutes to do his hair, Tyrone is a boob man, Shane has received ten nude photos from women via cell phone, Joey last hooked up with Kori nine months ago (hope there’s no bebe!), and the oldest woman 22-year-old Tyrone has been with is 42. Camilla gets the most questions right, and wins. Yahooo!
Each girl gets to pick a guy for an hour long date. Camilla chooses Tyrone, and Amy picks Joey. After the 60 minutes are up, those two guys will return to LA while Shane gets to stay in San Diego and go on an individual date with each of them. You stud you!
The sixty minutes begin and there are smooches, declarations of affection, etc. Nothing exciting there. Time is up and Tyrone and Joey head back to LA. Now Shane gets to make his move. He goes out with Amy first and declares all kinds of bullsh*t including but not limited to that he has a better connection with her than she does with Joey. Amy is not totally swept off her feet but she enjoys the attention.
Meanwhile, HBIC Camilla is getting ready for her date. She sports what she calls a princess dress but what we would refer to as a stripper gown and hooker heels. But home girl can work it, she does look smoking. On her date with Shane, she tells him that she would consider picking him over Tyrone. Oh no she didn’t! But I am sure she is just playing the game. She expresses her vulnerability about being so strong and tough on the outside but like a little lamb inside, and Shane feeds right into it even though you know he doesn’t buy it for a second. But they make out anyway.
The dates conclude and it’s time to head back to LA. Camilla admits straight up that she kissed Shane. Tyrone looks shocked but not pissed. Hey, at least she’s being honest. Right?
And now it is time for the end. The final ceremony. How did this happen??? Seems to have snuck up on us. At any rate, I have no idea who will win. Tyrone and Camilla seems to like each other the most, but this is TV so who the hell knows. Each girl speaks first, and then the three guys will pick a girl to win.
After heartfelt declarations of love (ha!) from Amy and Camilla, the men choose their ladies. Tyrone picks Camilla (duh) and Joey selects Amy. Now it’s Shane’s turn. If he has any brain cells, and who knows if he does, he would pick Amy because there is no chance Camilla would ever pick him over Tyrone, even though she fake-said she would on their date. And what do you know, Psychic Liz strikes again! Shane joins Team Amy.
Camilla has tears in her eyes as she walks into the sunset (well, the sun has already set but you know what I mean). Truth is she made a real connection with Tyrone so who knows, maybe there is hope for them. Tyrone exits the stage backyard to go home.
And now there are three. Shane and Joey plead their cases again. And in the end, Amy chooses Joey! A match made in heaven. I am sure it will last. They can share hair products. God knows Amy needs to deep condition those extensions.
Despite the rejection, Shane does not look heartbroken. He vows to be back next season.
So there you have it. True love (yeah right!) triumphs again.
Liz Out Loud