With My Big Fat Revenge premiering Tuesday, Sept. 3 at 9/8c, we've had the act of revenge on our minds. After being discounted, humiliated, and rejected because of their weight, the women on My Big Fat Revenge are ready to take control of their lives, put their painful pasts behind them, and finally stand up to the people who inflicted the hurt. But maybe it's Alfred Hitchcock who best sums up the WHOLE show: "Revenge is sweet and not fattening." So why not partake? Here are eight celebrities who got their own big fat revenges.
1. Taylor Swift & John Mayer
Guys oughta know not to date Taylor Swift unless they don't mind having their dirty laundry aired over radio. Just ask Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas and Taylor Lautner. But our favorite Taylor revenge moment came with the not-so-subtlety titled "Dear John," which she presumably wrote for John Mayer. The lyrics "paint" a picture of John playing games with her heart: "You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday." You might say revenge had been served when teens across the country were mouthing those lyrics, plus the line about John's "sick need to give love then take it away."
2. John Mayer and ... Taylor Swift?
John hasn't disclosed who his new song "Paper Doll" is about, but its lyrics seem to be aimed at Amercia's country signing sweetheart. For example, "Cause you're like 22 girls in one / And none of them know what they're running' from." Interesting, considering T-Swift just released a song titled "22." John also sings: "And if those angel wings don’t fly / Someone’s gonna paint you another sky." Could it be a coincidence that both "Dear John" and "Paper Doll" mention painting a sky? Kinda doubtful.
3. Satsuki Mitchell & Daniel Craig
Hollywood producer Satsuki Mitchell was allegedly baffled by how quickly Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz tied the knot after filming 2011's "Dream House" together. She had dated 007 for six years, and the two bought a Penthouse in Manhattan's TriBeCa area in May of 2010. But approximately a year later, Daniel and Rachel were married in a clandestine ceremony. Making matters worse, Satsuki had considered herself friends with the new bride. So what's a scorned ex to do? How about run up $1 million on his credit cards!
4. Justin Timberlake & Britney Spears
It's widely assumed that Justin Timberlake wrote "Cry Me a River" about Britney Spears. According to the song, a girl "cries a river" after she cheats on a boy and he won't take her back. In real life, Justin claimed Brit-Brit cheated on him with her choreographer. "Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be / And don't it make you sad about it," he sings. We're not sure what would be more satisfying: the therapeutic act of writing the song or winning a Grammy for it later.
5. Lil' Kim & Nicki Minaj
This one may be more of a straight up beef than a revenge. But it all started when Lil' Kim felt dissed because Nicki Minaj paid her no credit while "tryna clone my style and run wit it." In return for this perceived lack of respect, the Queen Bee sought revenge by releasing the diss track "Black Friday":
Fed-Ex beef straight to your font door.
It'll be a murder scenes,
I'm turning Pink Friday to Friday the 13th.
Aight you Lil’ Kim clone clown,
All this buffoonery shit stops now.
After mostly staying silent for a spell, Nicki shot some revenge right back at Kim with a diss track of her own that fans called "Tragedy":
It must hurt to sell ur album on paypal.
Especially when u in the game 15-20.
U was hot when Shaq teamed up with Penny.
Man, you was magic, I mean,
Look at u now hoe, u just tragic.
Then followed up with her "Stupid Hoe" video above. Sometimes, two can play the revenge game!
6. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes & Andre Rison
When Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes found out that boyfriend and former NFL player Andre Rison had cheated on her, she did not write a song about it. She went for something even more attention grabbing. Like, say, burning down his house! The TLC singer, who sadly died in a car crash, later explained that she had been drinking and decided to "barbecue his tennis shoes" in the bathtub after an argument. She thought the bathtub would contain the fire. It did not. Sometimes revenge is best served HOT.
7. Glee stars Naya Rivera & Mark Salling
Some acts of revenge or a lot more "low key" than burning down a house -- like when Glee star Naya Rivera allegedly keyed co-star Mark Salling's car (an act he denies ever happened). Rumors swirled that Naya not only used her keys, but also threw eggs at the car and then dumped dog food on top. While Naya and Mark were not in a exclusive relationship, she apparently did not like reading about him hanging out with other girls.
8. Katy Perry & Russell Brand
Katy Perry supposedly wrote "Part of Me" years before her marriage from Russell Brand fell apart, but no one who watched the Grammy Awards in 2012 would have doubted that Katy was addressing Russell in that moment. "You took my light, you drained me down / But that was then and this is now / Now look at me," she belted in a skintight outfit baring ample cleavage. And we're sure he was looking. If you're going to seek revenge, you may as well look hot doing it.
Tune into My Big Fat Revenge Tuesday, September 3 at 9/8c!