Oh my God, it’s time! We will finally find out if Tanisha gets married, as this is the season finale so they have no other choice! Let’s make a bet right now. I wager a Twinkie that they will walk down the aisle. Who’s in?
The episode begins just three days before the wedding. Tanisha decides it’s a good idea to see if her dress actually fits, so she goes with her mother and brother Archer to try it on. Bingo! She looks great in it! Her mom tears up at how beautiful she looks. I tear up at how beautiful Mama Tanisha's voice is. I could hear that accent all day! She could read the ingredients in shampoo out loud and it would sound soothing!
They return home, and out of nowhere Natalie shows up at her door. Tanisha is all, what the hell you doing here you crazy b----? (I’m paraphrasing) She finally lets her in, and while Natalie doesn’t actually ever apologize for ruining Tanisha's bachelorette party, she does agree to meet up with Flo to hash things out. Oh that should be a nice, drama-free afternoon!
Tanisha takes Clive out for a romantic dinner at what looks like a pizza place. She keeps it REALLY classy when she asks him what he would want from her if they were to get a divorce. Clive is all, nothing? She takes that moment to bring up the pre-nup, which she conveniently has in her possession so he can just sign it right now, thank you very much! He refuses to sign it, and very politely says “F--- you and your lawyer.” Kids today! Tanisha clutches her pearls and responds like a true Bad Girl: she throws ice cream at him. With her love for snacks, I’m shocked that she would waste any food like this! They leave the restaurant barely speaking to each other.
Tanisha then meets Sean for breakfast because it is a really good idea to see your best friend who just confessed his love for you two days before your wedding... yup. Sean continues pushing for him and Tanisha to give it a shot, telling her he has fallen in love with her. Tanisha acts all shocked and hurt and surprised but come on girl! They say goodbye with a hug, and pause dramatically as they contemplate going in for a kiss. Tanisha breaks away from Sean at the last minute. Poor Clive! A conflicted Tanisha returns home and reveals to her mother what happened. Mom is all, no one else will accept you like Clive does. Keep him!
Meanwhile, it’s time for the showdown between Flo and Natalie. They meet at Dizzy’s in Park Slope, a yuppie neighborhood in BK where I used to live that is home to arugula, sprouts, and double strollers. They begin their sit-down by both admitting they’ve been wrong in the past. And now they will put it all behind them for Tanisha's sake. And that’s it! They’re cool with each other. Why didn’t they do this sooner???
Night falls, morning comes, and now it is just ONE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING. Everyone meets at Thatched Cottage for the rehearsal lunch. Poor broken-hearted Sean shows up late. During lunch, Tanisha's bridesmaids Bella and La pull Tanisha aside to tell her to only go through the wedding if she is sure and that it’s not too late for her to back out. Wow, that must be nice to hear one day before your wedding! Eventually they rejoin the group, and Tanisha asks if anyone has anything to say. Sean mumbles a toast congratulating them. Then, Clive decides to speak. His eyes water as he calls Tanisha his soul mate and tells her he loves her sooooo much. Everyone gets emotional, even cold, cynical, jaded me! Tanisha, however, is still unsure if she is making the right decision. Well, better make up your mind soon! After the rehearsal lunch, Tanisha and Clive say goodbye to each other. Clive's heading back to Brooklyn, and Tanisha is spending the night in Long Island.
And before you know it, it’s the day of the wedding! After getting her weave done, Tanisha visits her father. Turns out he had a stroke a while ago and he has been living in a nursing home ever since. His speech was deeply affected and he can’t make it to her wedding, so she wants to get his blessing. He supports the marriage and tells her he loves her. Aw, it’s nice to see Tanisha's vulnerable and loving side!
Meanwhile, Clive is getting ready with his groomsmen. They board a white limousine Hummer, via red carpet, to take them to the venue. Clive is thrilled when his family shows up, sans his mom, because she’s not feeling well. She better be on death’s door because there’s no other excuse for her not to show up if you ask me!!! It’s her son’s wedding!!!
And now it’s time for the wedding. I’m wondering if Tanisha will end up going through with it. Everyone have their Twinkie ready so we can settle our bet?
Well . . . Tanisha finally realizes that Clive is the love of her life! After the wedding party walks down the aisle to Pachelbel’s Canon, she meets red-velvet-chocolate-cake-looking Clive (Tanisha’s words, not mine!) at the altar. They recite their self-penned vows—Shakespeare they ain’t—and then kiss! And now it’s time to party!
The DJ starts spinning, the champagne starts popping, and the new couple starts dancing. Clive can move! Everyone joins them on the dance floor. The reception is rocking. Flo and Natalie are nice to each other. A victory for everyone!
So there you have it. Tanisha DOES get married so the show’s name is not a lie! Mazel tov!
See you at the next wedding!
Liz Out Loud