Man! It feels like FOREVER since we’ve talked! Luckily we have another episode of Tanisha Gets Married to bring us all together again. Let’s begin, shall we?
We begin where we left off two weeks ago—at Tanisha’s super colorful wedding shower where Flo and Natalie bask in the love they have for each other. Ha! I wish. Instead, they are fighting over how much they hate each other! It’s all, you tweeted this and I tweeted that, but I only tweet the truth, so sorry if the tweet truth hurts! Or something along those lines. Tanisha’s mom is NONE too happy about this rude behavior, so she barges into the living room. “This is my house! And I’m gonna demand some sort of damned respect. Ok? No obscene languages in my house. None!” You tell them Mama Tanisha!
Flo decides to leave to avoid more drama, but Natalie can’t stop talking about it. Darnell tries to calm her down and Tanisha threatens to kick her out of her wedding party. Only then does Natalie decide to act like an adult and try to put the Twitter war behind her ‘cause it’s not all about her. It’s Tanisha’s wedding!
After the shower Amber meets Natalie at their hotel. Amber whines that the shower was tacky (I agree) and that she and Natalie need to plan the bachelorette party because they can’t leave it in the hands of the other bridesmaids.
The next day, it is time to go bridesmaid dress shopping, every girl’s dream. Not! Natalie bails and Tanisha is pissed. But all anger is forgotten when the shop owner offers the ladies champagne! Tanisha wants cranberry colored dresses, which is a remarkably subtle choice for such a Bad Girl. Arkeen, who I normally like, declares that the dress color has to look good on chocolate skin tones, which annoyed Amber quite a bit. While everyone tries on dresses, Amber pulls Tanisha aside to ask if she can help plan her bachelorette party. She agrees, but is hesitant to allow Natalie to share this privilege.
After the exhausting search for dresses, it is time for lunch at Burgers & Cupcakes, which also serves salads! Tanisha explains how she and Clive broke up during the summer while she was out in LA. Oh, and she thinks he might have hooked up with another girl. So now she has doubts just three weeks before the wedding. Uh oh! But why stop the train now? After lunch, the girls stop at another shop for bridesmaid dresses, and this time they find what they want. Yahooooo!
Tanisha returns home alone and checks Clive’s computer again. His Facebook account is open, and low and behold she finds a girl’s number! So what does Tanisha do? She calls her! However, instead of exploding, Tanisha ends up having a nice chat with the girl, who denies that anything bad happened between her and Clive. Bonus: she also happens to be a big fan of Tanisha’s! So instead of popping off, Tanisha has made a new friend. Smiles all around!
Amber and Tanisha then go to try on her wedding dress, which fits perfectly. Yeah! They return to Tanisha’s house where they start planning the bachelorette party. Tanisha wants it coed since she knows crazy sh—goes down at bachelor parties and she does not trust Clive’s judgment, but Amber objects. They decide on a theme, Bad to the Bone, and then Tanisha recruits her friend Markus from LA to be a spy at Clive’s bachelor party.
The next day Tanisha and Clive go to a dancing lesson. Tanisha boasts that they came out of the womb with rhythm, but she also wants to show off more polished moves at the wedding. And damn, who knew Clive had it in him? Apparently he was big in the dancing community back in the day. The guy can move! I’m impressed!
After their lesson, they return home where Clive starts drinking sangria out of a plastic bag because why not? Tanisha broaches the topic of a coed bachelor/bachelorette party again, but he resists. Tanisha compromises and says they’ll have lunch together, and then split up. Hey, she’s got a snitch lined up so she should be good.
Since the wedding is a whopping three weeks away, Clive goes tuxedo shopping with his groomsmen, including Tanisha’s flashy friend Darnell and Flo’s husband Patriot. For realz, that’s his name. They go to a place called Classie Tuxedo. I sincerely hope that is a family name and not an attempt at a clever way of spelling “classy.” Because that would make it decidedly unclassy. But anyway, a confused Clive tells the clerk he needs red because that’s what Tanisha is wearing. But it’s not, of course, as we know. Darnell gently coaches him, and finally they decide on an ivory suit with a cranberry tie and vest. Very classie.
We wrap up the episode with a talking head with Tanisha and Clive together. They discuss how long they’ve been together. Tanisha says seven years, Clive says six. It seems like an innocuous disagreement and they start bickering playfully. Or so I think. But no, it turns ugly when Clive accuses Tanisha of sleeping with someone else that first year. The Tanisha we know from Bad Girls Club explodes. She starts pounding on him, repeatedly asking him, “Who did I sleep with?” She ends the fight by throwing her engagement ring at him and storming out of the room.
Is there trouble in paradise? Will Tanisha marry Clive? We will just have to wait and see . . . .
Till next week—
Liz Out Loud