Trying something a little different in today’s recap of The Face… a highlights reel! And we’re all very lucky, folks, because we have the bonus of getting ingenious insight from none other than my own mother, who I am visiting right now in South Florida. (My father chose the option of “being in another room.”) Let’s relive some of the best moments from last night’s episode, shall we?
1. Stephanie and the Condom
In today’s test shoot, the ladies are picking a “personal item” (placed there by producers) out of a purse, and will then be grilled about said item by Us Weekly’s Jennifer Peros. Stephanie says “I don’t want anything really awkward to come out of this bag,” mere milliseconds before pulling out a condom. A dramatization:
OK, for real, a dramatization:
Stephanie then launched into a speech straight out of a 4th grade health class. “A condom is… protection.” So far so good. The Us Weekly columnist began grilling her about her sex life, which doesn’t seem super fair.
2. Devyn and the Baby Shoes
As my mother said, “Well that’s what happens when you don’t use a condom.”
3. Zi Lin Is self-described “Made In China”
Now that the show is nearly done, we’re finally getting to know Team Naomi’s Zi Lin a little bit. We’ve known she is gorgeous for some time, but now that her personality is out of the bag, she’s also quite charming. Now to be fair, she pulled out a PINK ALASKA CAP, which, compared to the condoms and underwear the other girls dealt with, seems SLIGHTLY unfair. But Zi Lin still describes the hat with nothing less than charm and grace, telling the judges she, too, is “Made In China.”
Mother’s response: “I would give it to the Chinese girl.” Zi Lin indeed goes on to win the challenge.
4. WENDY WILLIAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh Wendy Williams is the one hired to ask the girls the hard-hitting red carpet questions. Genius casting!! Wendy is a legendary interviewer and not scared of annnnything. She’s also terrifying in the best way—can you imagine trying to answer questions with Wendy serving you this face?
This might be a good time to say that I myself am going to be on Wendy’s show next week!! Follow me on Twitter (@michcoll) for more details, but obviously I have never been more excited for anything in my whole life.
5. Stephanie’s “How You Doin?” to Wendy
Hi.Larious. Coco is all “It’s like they’re besties!”
6. The Kate Moss/Kate Mosh Conspiracy
OK guys. Did Margaux say Kate Moss? Or was it just a bit of the ol’ cottonmouth that made it sound like “Kate Mosh”? Naomi is unconvinced, calling out Margaux’s possible error, which leads to the most fantastic Coco Rocha side-eye of all time:
I think we can all agree, however, that a Kate Mosh pit would probably be really pointy and painful.
7. WHO IS JOCELYN’S BOYFRIEND?
Wendy asks Jocelyn about her boyfriend, who apparently is a reality TV star. Who is it??? Ah I am dying to know. Prraaaaying it’s The Miz.
8. Zi Lin’s Ulta Makeup Shade “Special Purple”
Wendy asks Zi Lin what shade of Ulta eyeshadow she’s wearing, and instead of saying the obvious answer, “Why the hell would I remember that?”, she instead says she’d like to name it herself. Special purple. (Which sounds more like a medicinal marijuana flavor, but I digress.)
9. The Black Model Controversy
When Wendy asks Devyn if it’s hard to be a black girl model, Devyn misinterprets the question and tells her “I don’t really consider myself as a black girl model…” which is really not the right way to ever start a sentence. While Devyn meant that her racially ambiguous look could skew a few different ways, Wendy and Naomi were like:
Devyn eventually makes it clear that she loves being a black woman, and is proud of it, and thankfully her mismanagement of words didn’t stop her and Ebony from bringing home the victory for Team Karolina.
10. Coco’s Special Purple Lipstick
In keeping with this week’s theme, Coco was sporting some fun purple lipstick (or dare I say, lip tar) during the final elimination ceremony, where one of her girls and one of Team Naomi’s would be going home.
When Karolina kindly picks the two stronger models from the other teams to stay in the competition (Margaux and Zi Lin), Coco points out that Naomi would have done the opposite, sending the better girls home so that one of her own could walk away the winner. Naomi then tells Coco that she’s “yet to be inspired” by her team, to which Coco says (loose quote) “Well at least my girls don’t LIE like Zi Lin.” (#SpecialPurple)
If only Naomi knew that Coco's lipsticks have their very own Tumblr… she may have thought twice.
And so it is down to 4: Zi Lin, Ebony, Devyn and Margaux. Who do you guys think is going to take The Face crown in next week’s finale? More importantly, WHAT LIPSTICK IS COCO GOING TO BE SPORTING NEXT WEEK?!?!?! Let us know in the comments sectch.