Gather round, readers, because we're about to embark on what may be the greatest episode in any and all modeling reality competitions: Makeover day! Where experts take an already pretty girl competing on a modeling show for God's sake and try to make her look even better, sometimes to catastrophic I mean out of this world levels. And if you, like me, love to watch a model cry… get comfortable.
But while Frederic Fekkai and his staff are sharpening their scissors, our three teams learn about Isabelle's elimination last week, which means Ray the Denny's Waitress (official name on her birth certificate) was spared. Their reactions can easily be summed up as follows:
Anne V. confronts Naomi Campbell about eliminating her best girl, when she really should have confronted a mirror, because why did you put your best girl up, Anne V?
Anne says she "plays fair." But part of the show, in my opinion, is playing strategically. So it really does pay to send your worst girl in the room -- just in case.
The girls head over to Fekkai's salon, where host Nigel Barker has been mainlining Grande Americanos for the past 48 hours. He is very excited to see our contestants as alwaysssss!
Nigel introduces Frederic Fekkai himself, who in addition to being one of the foremost celebrity hairdressers in the world, is also surprisingly hot. Nigel announces that today there will be some dramatic changes, which in the case of a few of these girls, means simply "washing their hair."
Makeover day! Each contestant will be getting an entirely new hair look. Except for Tiana. Tiana will be looking exactly the same:
Nakisha shocked her coach Lydia Hearst when she revealed that her hair was actually just a wig placed over her natural cornrows. I think she looks great in her cornrows alone, but then again this was also my favorite Justin Timberlake look, aka ignore me. Frederic and Lydia look like they could use some backup, so they summon the one person in that salon with whom Nakisha is sure to be in good hands:
They go with a short bob weave, and she looks awesome in it:
Naomi wants to give her girl Alana a "more disheveled, Britney Spears look." Here is Alana before...
And here she is after:
I'd say mission accomplished Naomi!
But really, they did Britney-fy Alana, only I'm getting more like 2012 Backstage at X Factor than good old fashioned sexy BritBrit:
But what of poor Ray the Denny's Waitress? What of her? We're all rooting for her, even though she has about as much business being there as Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyer's Club (who would definitely win this thing.) So when it came to Ray's blonde locks, Lydia decided to shake things up a little and turn the girl brunette. The room was understandably excited to see her transformation. Here is our first glimpse of Ray, a drop of brown sun:
Naomi Campbell catches wind of this makeover and is horrified. "One makeover is a disgrace. One girl is ruined," she tells Nigel. It may seem way harsh Tai, but to Naomi's point, the color does wash Ray's skin tone out. She's tall and thin but her face is not the best in the room. Her hair could have better complimented her face. Naomi, taking a page out of Game of Model Thrones, breezes past Lydia telling her, "You ruined one girl." Lydia responds by telling her team that Naomi can "shove it up her ass." Ohhhh girllllllllll nooooo
The rest of the makeovers are subtle improvements to each girl's look, but nothing insanely drastic. Nary a bleached brow or dreadlock to be found. And Ray's "After" photo is actually pretty. So maybe it photographs better than it looks?
The girls now all coiffed and styled, they gather round to hear about this week's Campaign challenge. And it looks like SOMEONE didn't get the Cheetah memo…
This week, the challenge is for each team to create a photo for Frederic Fekkai's website. Seems simple enough, and a good way to prove that these ladies have what it takes to eventually become The Face of Fekkai's brand. The only tiny little thing is that they're actually going to be posing while completely nude.
He said completely nude, Sharon. Naomi helpfully suggests they could wear a g-string or pasties if they feel uncomfortable, but that's like wearing that paper underwear while getting waxed. (Do any of you ever opt for that paper underwear? You know your waxer seen errrthing you got goin on right?) She then basically says that this challenge won't be a problem for some of the constestants, who already showed up to the shoot without any pants on:
Anne V is worried about how Khadisha will fare in this challenge, given that she is from Senegal and a Muslim, two things that don't look upon posing in the nude favorably. But if you thought that would be this episode's most controversial moment, then wait 10 more seconds, because things are about to blow up.
While everyone is getting their hair and makeup done, Afiya approaches her coach Naomi to "get something off her chest."
That something is what Russian contestant Kira allegedly said to Afiya the night before in the Model Loft. Kira apparently said that Fekkai is going to want a Caucasian girl without extensions for the part, "no offense." No cameras were around when Kira said this, but this GIF should do the trick:
The two confront Kira, who denies saying that, but her broken English only digs the whole deeper. She then almost flips the script, saying:
If you could crank this screencap through Google Translate and let me know what she means, that would be wonderful.
Naomi decides to announce to the entire room what was said the night before, which causes a lot of jaws to drop, and makes Khadisha cry.
Kira does the 100M backtrack – it wasn't ME who said it, it was OTHER GIRLS.
Shoot time! Team Lydia is up first. They form a sort of sexy human centipede with one another, and don't pay enough attention to showcasing their hair. Their final shot looks stiff and uninteresting:
Anne's team is dealing with the same issue they had last week: Sharon's face. She's a beautiful girl but just doesn't know what to do with that face! In the end, Sharon was able to relax her mouth muscles just long enough to capture this:
Naomi's team up last. They put their differences aside to somehow nail the shot. See it exclusively at Fekkai's Web site.
In the end, Fekkai felt that Naomi's team was the strongest, and once again they win. I know she's the executive producer of this show and all, but in this case I have to agree, her team was by far the best.
Up for elimination, Lydia picks Nakisha and Anne pics Khadisha, knowing Naomi loves her. In the elimination room, Naomi's hair is on point:
Khadisha pleads her case, and really fights to stay in the game, while Nakisha says she can't say she deserves to be there over Khadisha. That's not the best angle to jump into this really. Naomi's mind was likely already made up before the speeches, but frankly, Khadisha really did fight to stay in it. Naomi chooses to keep her in, and I mean look how beautifully the girl cries! It's the right move.
And that's it. Nakisha begs Naomi to let her stay, invoking God, but it's too little too late, and she is shown this door like so many before her:
That's the end of this episode, but my reality TV horse sense tells me that things with Kira are about to boil over in the coming weeks. I, for one, can't wait.
What did you think of the episode? Will Naomi's team ever lose? Or will they just end up killing each other?
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