Lindsay on The Glee Project 102

When she left it dawned on me that I had been exactly what I couldn't stand in high school.I was SO happy about this week’s theme. It was so exciting for all of us, and we definitely couldn't resist being stoked to sing some Gaga. It’s a theater kid’s dream!

Seeing Idina walk down that hallway... Oh man. I think I cried a little bit. She is... 1) STUNNING, 2) an idol of mine, and 3) a presence to be reckoned with. She is everything that a woman should be, and an incredible talent on top of it.

I was a little disappointed that I didn’t win the homework assignment, but honestly I had a feeling Alex was going to win. He is larger than life in the best way, and though I feel that I, and many of the other contenders are very theatrical, Alex takes the cake. His voice is incredible, his presence is shining, and I couldn't honestly think of a better match for Idina.

When Nikki told me she loved my voice I felt over the moon and extremely honored because Nikki is amazing and knows her stuff, but later on I felt the pressure. I was afraid of ever messing up because she had high expectations set for me. It’s not a bad thing, now there’s just extra pressure to always be on (and there was already no real room for mistakes).

My favorite part of the music video shoot was the very beginning when we were standing in a line waiting to turn around. I could see all of our shadows on the set and when the song would start with Alex's crazy wail, we would all start moving, stomping our feet and pounding our fists to the beat. It was surreal and it felt like we were real rock-stars.

My costume was a sequined leotard with sequined fringe, crazy tall 80's glam boots (ouchouchouchouchouch!), silver fishnets, silver jewelry and my makeup artist gave me a diamond stud on my nose! It was such a transformation. At first I felt a bit self-conscious because I don't really have the body for costumes like that, but I just took a deep breath and embraced it. I had to take what I loved about it and focus on that.

PHOTOS: See all of the contenders costumes from the music video shoot!

I felt so terrible for asking Ellis if it was her "best first kiss." It was one of those moments when I totally wanted to put my foot in my mouth and take it back. I didn't mean to embarrass her at all. I was meaning to be funny and it was just... ugh. Bad. I never meant to intentionally hurt her feelings or embarrass her and I apologized later to her for being such a jerk. She's had stage kisses before, and might I say that she kissed the s*** out of that guy. It was hot. He even said it was the best he'd ever had, so props to Ellis. I feel that she really shined in the video, regardless of any other nonsense that happened on set.

I was really surprised that Ellis was in the bottom three again. She was SO good in her performance and I felt so bad that she had to go through it twice in a row. That's hard. I understand that her sarcasm and sense of humor can come off as "negative" or "cynical" but we all come off badly at some point or another in the competition.

VIDEO: See the full music video here!

I was a bit taken back by Matheus being in the bottom too, because he was on top of the competition the previous week. It didn't really make much sense, but when we all thought about it, he sort of disappeared that week. I remember him saying that he didn't feel at the top of his game.

I was also pretty surprised that McKynleigh was in the bottom. I'm pretty envious of Miki's voice and overall talent (come on, she's REALLY good), and to see her in the bottom was weird. I was so focused on being at the top of my game that I didn't really notice that she had done anything to put herself in the bottom, but apparently there was a disconnect. That was strange to me because Idina had called her a "pro" at performing...


I know that Ellis and I didn't end well in the competition, but I loved her when I first met her at the Long Beach auditions. She was the first person I met there and we had lunch together and talked about books and bad parenting, and I still love her now. Seeing her go was hard because I felt like she was such an old soul that was just a bit misunderstood, and I felt personally ashamed that I didn't stick up for her or make a bigger effort to be understanding of her. She was very alienated her last week and we were sort of hard on her. That was unfair. When she left it dawned on me that I had been exactly what I couldn't stand in high school. A lot of us were that way to her, and she didn't deserve it.

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