When I heard Taryn was going home I was very surprised and disappointed. I had really gotten to know Taryn the first two weeks we were in the house. She is such a strong person and I have a lot of respect for her. She did a character that we called "Coach" that would make me laugh so hard. I wish her all the best.
When I heard "We Got the Beat" was our homework assignment I was excited, but to be honest I didn't know the song. So I was anxious to hear what we were working with! Once I heard the song all the way through I felt confident that we definitely had a dynamic song to work with.
At first I was a little surprised that Mario didn't want me to have the line that I wanted. However, he wanted it for himself and this is a competition and we have to fight for what we want to showcase ourselves in the best way. I did feel like his tone had changed a little and I was surprised by the way he handled it at first. He had a shift while on the show and the pressure and circumstances brought about a different side of him. I know Mar very well and feel like he was always real with me one on one. Mario and I were able to bond over the struggle of wanting to be seen as a person when we walk in a room and not for our disabilities.
I was so excited that Samuel Larsen was going to be our guest mentor because he really understood where we were in the competition. He was in our shoes only a year ago and has felt the same fears and excitement that we were feeling. He really got us!
I think this week’s choreography was extremely hard for the group because it was very advanced and fast. It was only week two and we really didn't know how hard and how much rehearsal we all really needed. I think that Zach and Brooke expected a lot from us, and we didn't realize how many other elements we were going to have to deal with that day. I know that I wasn't as prepared as I wish I had been. I definitely learned from that shoot.
I was really frustrated when Zach told us we were performing horribly because I knew we could all do better. It did put a fire under me. When someone tells me that I’m not doing well, I immediately want to prove them wrong. I want to show them what I can do. It actually really got me going!
Dani being sent home was one of the hardest things I went through during the competition. I was the closest to her in the house and we had a really special bond. She was the person I could share my fears and most personal thoughts with. When I talk to Dani, I feel like she understands me in such a deep way. There is no judgment in our connection. I had really opened up to her, and to be honest I hadn't at that point with a lot of other people in the house. I always thought she was one of the strongest contenders and I didn't EVER think in a million years she would be sent home after the second week. When we were waiting to go into the choir room to say goodbye I heard her start to cry and I lost it. I began to cry and I didn't want to go in and face what I had to face which was saying goodbye to not only one of my best friends in the house but in my life. I didn't know the next time I was going to get to talk to her or see her. It felt unfair and I stayed back from the crowd as everyone was saying goodbye. We then hugged for about seven minutes straight. I remember saying "It's going to be okay, It's going to be ok" even though I didn't know how I was going to do this without her. As she was walking up the stairs I struggled to say through sobs, "I don't want you to go." Aylin and Shanna took my hands and we walked out of that choir room and I had to pick myself up. When we got back to the dorms I curled up on the couch and cried while Nellie held me in her arms. I so badly wanted to talk to Dani in that moment and ask her if she was ok and how she was feeling. But we weren't meant to go through this together. We had to be apart and on our own. Dani is very special to me and I am forever grateful that The Glee Project brought us together.
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