I love the theme of Fearlessness. It was a bit scary because I had no idea what this week was going to entail, but, in order to be on GLEE, you have to be fearless! I think that this theme showed us a lot about ourselves.
I was so excited to meet Jane Lynch; I have always been a huge fan of hers! She is hilarious and genuinely a nice person! I would be lying if I said I wasn't star-struck. She is one incredible woman!
Charlie and I decided to get back together because we really couldn't deny our feelings for each other. I thought that being friends with him would be easy but it wasn’t. We just really like each other’s company and it made sense for us to be together. I think we help each other a lot.
When I found out we would be shooting the music video in a pool I was nervous. I hadn’t worn a bathing suit in years! I was trying really hard to make it seem like I didn't care about being in a bathing suit, but on the inside, I was freaking out!
Getting slushied for the first time was actually fun! It is a feeling that I cannot compare to anything else. The slushie is SO COLD and it sticks to your skin. It got hard for me to breathe sometimes because the slushie would freeze onto my chest.
Ali is like my sister and I am very protective over her. Seeing her having trouble breathing really broke my heart! She is one strong woman and I am very proud of her for wanting to go through with it.
I was a little surprised that I was in the bottom three this week. I had a solid beginning of the week but I guess I didn't do well enough in the video. It was hard seeing Charlie in the bottom with me. He improves upon everything the mentors tell him each week, but somehow he ended up in the bottom again. I thought that Charlie did great this week and that he shouldn't have been in the bottom.
The first thing that went through my mind when I found out that Charlie and I were in the bottom three together was, "WHY?!" It sucked! I didn't want to be in the bottom three with Charlie! On the inside I wanted to cry, but on the outside I was trying so hard to pretend like it didn't bother me. No matter how much I like Charlie (which is a lot) I needed to try and remember why I came to this competition in the first place and give this Last Chance Performance everything I've got. I expected Charlie to do the same. I was just praying that neither one of us would go home...
But in the end, Charlie was not called back and saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I've had to do in this competition yet. I was a mess! I didn't even know how I was going to continue on in the competition without Charlie. He was my support and the one person I fully trusted and could talk to about anything... and then he had to go. =( It was a really sad day for me and I knew I was going to miss him so much going forward. He helped me so much with everything, but I guess it was time to learn to be on my own. I will be thinking about Charlie every step of the way. He made me promise him that I wouldn't come home, so I am going to do my best to stay in this competition!
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