Paris on Episode 5: Hola, Baby?

This week was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. The trip to Spain was a whirlwind! But overall, it went really well. I do wish I could have been there for more than 24 hours, but business is business. Speaking of business… I was worried that everyone would be seeing MY business when I had to wear that super tight motorbike suit! I gained some weight over the winter and I have been sooo hungry lately. I honestly thought it wasn’t going to fit at all. Everything turned out okay though. It was definitely a little snug, but I’m happy I was at least able to fit into it. I just hid behind the bike during the photo shoot.

PHOTOS: Click here to see more photos from the episode!

I was so glad when the photo shoot was over and I could change out of that suit. I thought it went pretty well…until I got home and Lexie told me about the rumors that I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. People were saying that it looked like I had a baby bump in some recent photos. It really hurt my feelings. I feel like I rarely get a break from the criticism. I lose some weight, and I’m anorexic. I gain some weight and all of a sudden I’m pregnant. A girl can’t win!

Hearing all of the rumors and seeing that I actually was putting on a lot of weight really got me worried though. I started to actually wonder if I was pregnant. I was really freaked out about it. It was consuming my mind one day when I was having lunch with my mom and Brooke and they immediately knew something was wrong. I had to tell them, even though I wasn’t sure whether or not I was pregnant.

I was not sure what reaction to expect from my mom and Brooke when I told them I might be pregnant. This was the first time in my entire life that I ever thought I could be pregnant. I was a little taken back when my mom cried after I told her. I was really worried that she was disappointed in me. Having your mother disappointed in you is way worse than having your mother mad at you. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of joy or if she was actually upset. I felt better though when she said she was happy for me and would support me either way. She and Brooke were really anxious to know for sure, but I told Cy I would wait to take the pregnancy test with him.

While I was waiting for Cy to get home, Jen convinced me that I should try acupuncture to make me relax. Don’t get me wrong, I love trying new things. But I would rather sky dive out of a plane again than have a needle stuck in me. I HATE needles. But after I got over my fear and just tried it, I realized it really wasn’t that bad at all. And I think I would definitely try acupuncture again.

VIDEO: Click here to see the full episode!

This week was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. And the last thing I needed was drama. But it always seems to find me somehow. While I was having dinner with the girls one night, I learned that Brooke was still friends with my ex. You know… the one that released the sex tape of us and ruined my life…that ex. And just like that, my mind was off the pregnancy thing and onto being a upset with Brooke. I was baffled that one of my closest friends thought I was in on it and even made money off of it! Are you kidding me? It made me wonder exactly how well she knew me.

Finding out that I wasn’t pregnant was the ultimate sigh of relief. I am not ready for children at this point in my life. It’s really not a good time in my career. I’m sure all of you working women can understand. I’d love to have children someday… but I am really thankful that this was not the day.

As most of you may have heard by now, Cy and I are now no longer together. I love him, and we remain really good friends, but the relationship ran its course.


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