Dean's my rock!

When Dean and I got together we always said we would do everything together. It was our idyllic pact and it worked in theory. But reality, work, and two babies later, that's just not always possible. I went to The Mother Goose Parade in San Diego. Actually, I was the Grand Marshall. Seemed pretty cool till Dean couldn't go with me. We are madly in love and work well TOGETHER! It was so scary to think of having to attend a media event without him. He's my rock! On red carpets I always get nervous. I've been doing them my whole life and my heart still flutters the minute I step onto one. Perhaps it's because deep down I know the pictures taken will be scrutinized by the media and harsh eyes will be looking for any and every flaw that they can find. Was my mouth puckered? Did I look shiny? Were my nipples even? Is that another baby bump they see or is my dress just wrinkling? Did my arms appear too thin? Jeez... Hope my big toe looked ok. Just joking. But, my point is when Dean is with me I feel better. I step out onto that red carpet, hear the flashes go off, my heart races, and then I look to my husband who always has a look on his face like a giddy schoolboy seeing his prom date for the first time. He gives me a sense of calm and makes me feel confident and beautiful. So, that event without him stood for more than just one missed event. It made me worry that maybe our pact of perpetual togetherness just wasn't practical.Speaking of practicality, this leads me into Dean's motorcycle hobby. Hey... I'm all for passion projects but maybe one a little less dangerous. The thought of my ROCK speeding around a track at 160 miles an hour? Well, it terrifies me. And, it's something that I honestly don't have an interest in. I want an adrenaline rush? I watch a horror flick or do a mad sprint thru Barney's. It's a hobby he now has that doesn't include me. So, it leads us to do things apart. Although, he would love nothing more than if I hopped on a bike next to him and said, "Care to do a few laps? I think I can take ya!" But, it's just not my thing. So it's hard when your interests fork off from each other. For instance I loved when I was pregnant that we took up knitting together as a hobby. I know... He's a dude! And dude's like speed. I get that he needs his own hobby and that it's ok to have separate interests it's just motorcycle racing worries me. Liam however worships the fact that Dean likes motorcycles and now calls every guy on a motorcycle that passes... A Daddy! He says "Vroom Vroom" and wants to "race". I don't know how my heart will handle the day Liam is old enough to actually GO racing with Dean. I am impressed though how dedicated Dean is to his passion and his follow through. Plus I've heard through the racing grapevine that he's really a natural born racer. Not sure how to take that but am proud. Because I am working so much now I am so fortunate to have Patsy to help me. And, she does more than help me with the kids... She helps me feel complete. She fills the void of family I was missing. She is a mom to me and a grandparent to my kids and we love her like family. Her health issues have worried me for a while now and I'm happy she is finally taking action. I want her to lose the weight so that she can feel better and live a long healthy life for her kids and for my kids who need her in their lives. We will do whatever it takes to help her on her path towards a healthier and happier life.Besides my gay husband Mehran who is always there for me I'm lucky to have two other men in my life... who also just happen to be gay. Bill and Scout are true partners in life and two of my best friends. Together they are the best uncles ever to Liam and Stella so they are appropriately now called The Guncles. The kids' gay uncles! They are part of the amazing family Dean and I have created. I'm so lucky to have so many amazing friends who together make up the family I thought I'd never have. I'm so grateful for my life. I'm so grateful for my beautiful family. I'm so grateful for my friends. And, somewhere deep down I guess I'm even grateful for Dean's motorcycle... Ok maybe not. I was just on a roll! However, I'll still stand by the fact that he wears speed well. HOT! Now who's the giddy school girl? Talk to you soon! Love, T

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Big T

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