5 Classic DIY Stoner Recipes

Recipes for the hungriest and laziest. 

FACT: Stoned people like to eat all the things. But sometimes, interacting with a delivery guy is impossible, or takeout is too complicated, or it requires waaaaayyyy too many utensils (i.e. two) to keep track of. F*ck that. Stick with these simple recipes and you'll be laughing like an idiot in front of Adult Swim and stuffing your gob in no time. Remember your #lifegoals, my friend. 

1. . Cereal


Garnish optional. Except for the Nutella. That's not optional.

2. . Improvised Cracker Dip Spread


You probably didn't think to get crackers or dip, but what do you know, you do have stale rice cakes, pickles, and a goat cheese log. Why not? Dip, forget, repeat, forget...until you've eaten all of it -- then commence the shame spiral. Yolo!

3. . That Hard-Won Bowl Of Pasta With Butter Or Something On It

YES @mindykaling. Your @pasta game is 💯🙌💯🙌💯. #EEEEEATS

A photo posted by 🍝 Pasta (@pasta) on


Wow, bravo on your resolve! Keep digging through every cabinet for that colander! It'll be so worth it in four hours when it's ready! 

4. . Room Temperature Box Of Soup

Just stick a straw in it and sip that sh*t like it's juice, because life is just a meaningless series of rules meant to hamper our creativity -- right, bruh?  

5. . Freeze Something

When all else fails in your quest for variety, freeze something: cookies, Jell-o in a milk jug, water. Being stoned on a couch may not get you laid, but being a real-live scientist just might! 

Want more? Watch a brief history of 4/20! 

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