FACT: Stoned people like to eat all the things. But sometimes, interacting with a delivery guy is impossible, or takeout is too complicated, or it requires waaaaayyyy too many utensils (i.e. two) to keep track of. F*ck that. Stick with these simple recipes and you'll be laughing like an idiot in front of Adult Swim and stuffing your gob in no time. Remember your #lifegoals, my friend.
1. . Cereal
Garnish optional. Except for the Nutella. That's not optional.
2. . Improvised Cracker Dip Spread
You probably didn't think to get crackers or dip, but what do you know, you do have stale rice cakes, pickles, and a goat cheese log. Why not? Dip, forget, repeat, forget...until you've eaten all of it -- then commence the shame spiral. Yolo!
3. . That Hard-Won Bowl Of Pasta With Butter Or Something On It
Wow, bravo on your resolve! Keep digging through every cabinet for that colander! It'll be so worth it in four hours when it's ready!
4. . Room Temperature Box Of Soup
Just stick a straw in it and sip that sh*t like it's juice, because life is just a meaningless series of rules meant to hamper our creativity -- right, bruh?
5. . Freeze Something
When all else fails in your quest for variety, freeze something: cookies, Jell-o in a milk jug, water. Being stoned on a couch may not get you laid, but being a real-live scientist just might!
Want more? Watch a brief history of 4/20!