Ah, April Fool’s Day. For most, the day comes and goes with a few pranks, a couple of laughs, and some lighthearted flirtation. But for those people— we all know them— who tend to take things a little bit too far, please heed to my forewarning call: Hoe, don’t do it.
Here are 5 violations of April Fool's Day you shouldn't even think about crossing. Get a note pad.
1. . Don't Break Up With Your S/O, Asshole
The heart is the last thing you want to be tugging on today. Even if you genuinely feel it’s time for you two to go your separate ways, today is not the damn day!
For one, we already know how complicated relationships are. On a day that encourages humor, keep it light and silly, not as*holey. Secondly, truly breaking up on a day like today is for the birds. There will be confusion about whether or not you’re serious and you’ll ruin the holiday for them for years to come. Again, don’t be an as*hole. I mean, if you really want to do a breakup joke, just tell them that Bey-Z broke up. I might freak out just thinking about it.
2. . No Fake Deaths
Whether it’s a celebrity, a family member, a friend, everyone’s favorite bodega dude, or you— even those who prefer dark-humor don’t want to engage with it on that level.
A joke is literally defined as “a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter,” so if you’re out here doing your best for tears, take several seats and buy the kimoji instead.
3. . Don't Mess With Money, Period
If you work for yourself or work for an establishment, there’s a thin line between acceptable and Dwight Schrute. Sure, the in-house office humor between him and Jim Halpert was entertaining for television, but be cognizant of when enough is enough. The last thing you want to do is piss off an employer or a client. Going broke on April Fool's Day is the joke that always writes itself.
4. . No False Declarations Of Love
I know I’ve already spoken on the heart, but this one deserves a listing all of its own. Let me be clear: fake proposals will never ever ever be funny! You're most definitely just being an a** if you’re in a relationship, even worse if you two are broken up, and if the union is a brand new one, just go be alone forever.
Also, no declarations of love to people you’re not really interested in, ok? How old are we?
5. . Do Not Make Food Pranks
Food pranks actually seem pretty light and harmless, right? Yeah, no. If a person has a horrible allergy, it could be a life or death situation. No one wants to die on April Fool’s Day. Imagine having to explain that to their friends and family. It’s just all bad. Take them out to a nice restaurant and tell them you left your wallet at home, instead... then leave a big tip!