If the ol' 9 to 5 is getting you down, here is a list of alternative professions you may or may not have known existed. Happy hour, anyone?
1. . Mermaid
Private parties and rich kid birthdays will be your bread and butter. Mermaid academies are part of the rage du jour. It’s a hustle, for sure—sometimes people don’t know how badly they require a mermaid until you bring it to their attention—but it’s also not a bad way to spend your days. Ukulele playing skills a plus. Put that on your resume.
2. . Video Game Tester
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Actual testers say their job is more than just sitting around playing their favorite games. The top testers in the industry make $16-18/hr, and that’s for the guys with years of experience under their belts--and even then employment tends to be patchy at best. Still, you get to spend your days with other folks who are passionate about the game, so even though it can be difficult to move ahead, staying where you are ain’t so bad, either.
3. . Ice Cream Taster
We call them “tastemasters” in the biz, and those without a degree in Food Science need not apply. But if you have a discerning palate and the heart of a child, this is the job for you. Tasters taste flavors during various stages of production, testing for texture, smell, taste, consistency, and a number of other variables. Cold Stone’s taste tester, Ray Karam, has been doing it for more than three decades. Talk about a career with a cherry on top.
4. . Person Who Makes Sure Food Isn’t Poison
Putin has one. George W. Bush had one. Sometimes when you’re a big deal, you have to have someone taste your food to make sure no one is trying to kill you!
5. . Custom Pencil Sharpener
David Rees of Artisanal Pencil Sharpening is a professional pencil sharpener, charging $15-$35 a pop. He lives in the scenic Hudson Valley outside of New York and has published a book on pencil sharpening called My Job is Bullsh*t And Other Reasons The Internet Has Utterly Confused The Economy. Just kidding. It’s called How To Sharpen Pencils. #Obvi
6. . Mattress-Jumper-On-Er
If you make handmade mattresses, you have to check your work somehow. And methodically jumping on them just happens to be the best way to get it done. Big companies use them too, but just like Video Game Testers, it’s more method than whimsy. And god forbid you should damage the merchandise. You break it, you buy it.
7. . Dude Who Reads Facebook All Day
When Facebook is looking to redesign their newsfeed, they need to test the product. Thus they created the postion of Feed Consumer Product Marketing Manager. So the job entails consuming the thing that most of us consume when we are supposed to be doing other stuff, and then reporting back to your bosses about what you did and didn’t like. Get it?! LIKE!!!
8. . Ferrari Driving Instructor
Sure you have to compete with former NASCAR drivers to land a gig, but for $120k a year, it’s at least worth a shot. If you’ve ever taken a trip around Beverly Hills at rush hour, you know as well as I do that most people who can afford a Ferrari have no idea how to drive it. That’s why there’s www.ferraridrivingschool.com. Let me know when they make it for the Honda Fit. My mom could use a couple of pro-tips, too.
Watch the trailer for Oxygen's upcoming show 'Quit Your Day Job,' premiering March 30 at 10/9c!