Advice From a Comedian: How to Save Money and Land a Guy

Need ways to save money and/or earn a little extra cash? Can’t find a boyfriend or get a guy to text you back? L.A. comedian Ester Steinberg knows that the struggle is real – but thankfully, she has all the answers. Kind of. Ester gave us her tried and true tips about managing money, dating, and more in this life hacks list (with a video!) below.  

On Life (aka Saving Money)

1.) I don't have health insurance. If I want to see a doctor I just go on JDate. This also works for legal or financial advice.

2.) The trick to selling furniture on Craigslist? Start the post by saying "I need to get rid of my (insert item) because I just got engaged and I'm moving in with my fiancé." Girls will flood your inbox with offers. They'll assume your old rug from Target has magical marriage powers.

3.) Splurge on one nice haircut a year and get your trims done at the nearest student salon.

4.) Can't afford nice perfume? Ask for samples at Nordstrom and tell them that you need to test out the different scents to see which will blend well with your natural chemistry. 

5.) Low on cash? Sell your clothes to Crossroads or Buffalo Exchange. Pro Tip: Dress to impress! They'll assume your stuff is worth more.

6.) Here are some other ways to make fast cash:

a. Coinstar

b. Game shows

c. Sell your hair (or become a hair model)

d. Participate in medical research

e. Sell your eggs

f. And if you're really in a bind, share a studio apartment with your sister or best friend. You guys can share a bed and sleep "Willy Wonka Style." Hello! Four grandparents in one bed! They took cutting costs to another level. They are my life hack mentors. #genius

7.) Going to the DMV? Always tell them you have an appointment and blame it on the system.

8.) Always have a friend with a truck. You never know what life has in store for you!

On Love

1.) When you are going to a guy’s place for the first time, and you want him to fall in love with you, open up his iTunes and sort his music to find the song with the most plays. Pick the second most played song and press play. (If you select the number one most played song he might get suspicious.) He will think you are soul mates and that you have amazing taste in music.

2.) If you want to test a guy to see if your relationship is more than physical, text him, "do you want to hang out?" And then text him "never mind." When he asks you why tell him "It's that time of the month." If he’s a good guy he will still want to hang out. If he just wants you for sex, you'll know.

3.) Going to a nightclub expecting to find husband material is like going to a McDonalds and ordering Filet Mignon. It's just not on the McMenu.

4.) When in doubt, swipe right! Who knows, maybe the guy will win you over with a charming opening message. You have nothing to lose.

#thestruggle is real. Watch Ester and her friend, Jessica, suggest many great ways to make a buck:

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