In many ways, Caitlyn Jenner is living better than all of us. She has all the money in the world, it seems, and a level of notoriety that everyone in her family appears to crave. But her transition has been very pubic. In some ways, Jenner has been able to take advantage of this, seeing herself as an ambassador for the transgender community (to the dismay of many in that community, to the inspiration of others). She also gets awards, goes on the talk show circuit, and supports the Republican party for reasons no one understands.
But, ultimately, Jenner faces some of the difficulties that transgender people everywhere face: bigotry, invasive speculation, and a struggle with her self-worth in a society that too rarely understands what she’s going through. On top of that, she’s got the paparazzi following her around.
On an episode of Bill Simmons’ Any Given Wednesday, Jenner discussed how she had a photo taken of her when she was feeling extremely vulnerable. She had just had an operation on her Adam’s Apple when the photo caught a pic.
She says, “"I could not sleep that night… And I'm up at 3 a.m. walking up and down my hallways ... thinking, 'Damn, all this shit is going to come out tomorrow and it's going to be horrible.' And I said, 'You know what, easy way, go in the other room, you got a gun, let's just end it right here.'"
"That's like, the easy way out. No more pain, no more nothing. I don't have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don't have to deal with any of this. And that was probably the lowest I've ever gotten."
She ultimately went to sleep, and in the morning she went on a long walk. She says, “"I thought, 'What a terrible way to end your life's story!' I don't want my story to end that way, on a negative note."
Things have since improved for Jenner, but it’s an important reminder that transgender people need support. Discrimination increases the likelihood of a transgender person attempting suicide by 82% and 40% of all transgender people have attempted suicide. Those numbers are affected by how family, friends, and culture are open and accepting to differences in gender identity
Watch Caitlyn speak more on his family, fame, and the LGBT community below:
[Photo: Getty Images]